Thursday, November 3, 2016


I also remember this strange kid, that wears football armor. Red and blue. Brown hair. Sensitive. He showed the video, I think. It had some couple of shojo mangas. One I knew about and told him aloud. I'm not sure what he symbolizes. Possibly some kind of identity politics. Some arrogant pride through Asian Studies. This is the pushy student that supposedly wants to be the center of attention. The teachers pet? There has been too many of them today. They never learn that no one is actually listening. They are rather confirming personal beliefs and opinions through the class they spend money on. Life becomes utterly meaningless after when they are done. No sense of belonging out in the market place. Only their mom and dad's money to spend. 


Foggy dream. A little sick. Dust got on the machine fast. Have to swoosh or put a blanket over it.  


-Need a mini lamp over my keyboard at night. Still need USB stick.


-Right now before midnight, just found a blank USB stick I can use for Freewrite files. Excellent. Also, Patrick of Astrohaus just sent me a message saying they will make future update for screensavers. New authors! Maybe the three function choose-an-author for a screensaver will come true. My infulence works. 


-How many words to we speak a day?

-How many words do we write a day? 0-?




Always boggy in the morning. Woke up at 10. Masturbated to black girlfriend porn twice in the hour. Didn't feel like writing down my dream. I was in some school again. I was in a workshop for "Ernst Hemingway and Social Justice." Later, I was in some class about race. As usual, the black kid cries agaisnt the naive white kid. I tried to say something at least PC and witty, something to do with ordinary life. No one was listening. And this was a dream! It wasn't worht writing down, but I had to.


Got up, had an apple, looked outside. Thinking of Cause & Effect - Shakespaeres Garden. Good song. Wish I had a album in that style, with electronic covers. Digital computer sound. No one is in the house at the moment. Was going to try and call Montco for refund. I want $500 in my account so I can but tickets for me and Alice, beach day. 2. Buy $200 worth of Magic cards I made. 3. Buy a PS4 and Doom 4 (could not even play it on Friday the 13th, the day it came out!). And buy a mini-lamp at night so I can see what I'm writing when I can't see the keys. The thing is, it has to be a soft lamp ,so It won't hurt my eyes. 


I am trying to start the Freewrite habit. If I am a writer, I must write everyday. I must find my comfort zone and find my own voice. Writing will also improve how I think about sentence structures and speaking. What is being done when I touch the keys? 


I must ask myself the following two questions:

1. How many words do we speak a day?

2. How many words do we write a day?


I will add these estimates to my Google sheets. This is something I should of know in school. Will do it now.


How many words do we read a day?


Mind Speak Listen Read Write,




Last night, I was thinking about the structure of langauge. My brain is speaking but I want to go to bed. I have to anaylze that behavior next time. Good monks know how to shut up and go to sleep. Think of nothing. Noth even blank. 


The langangue structure goes like this: 1. Mind 2. Speak 3. Listen 4. Read 5. Write.


First, langauge is understood by the mind. The mind! Everything is in the mind, Leftist would argue. Chomsky argues for "universal grammer." We see an elephnat, and know, the elphant is dangerous to begin with. Or do we know it is a friendly grey thing? The mind translates things through pictures. It is the mind that helps creates langauge, the self, and intelligensia. The mind is the greatest thing that mans man a super being from his animal counter-part. 


It is then, do we communicate through speaking. We speak to others using our vocal choards. We translate our enviorment and abstractions through sound. Langague is differnt through out the world. Speaking as well infulences the ego. Are we speaking to ourselfs? We never even know it? We mean to speak to the other human that knows how to speak too. Like the Zulu, or any other African tribe, there is no need for a dictionary. A dictionary is an invention by Western man. All Zulu know there langauge. If you knew the word, you would remember it. Like Chinese to Japanese to Korean, all came from Chinese, and then variants were created through enviorment and proxmity. Technology plays a part in this. We speak most of our lviing life. We speak about 15,000 words a day. 


We also try to listen to the other side. As we listen, we learn new words. We learn about sound. Emotion translates the signals. It is sound that is so important to our own reality. Speaking creates a sound. Some who don't write, only learn through speaking. Students are better of listining to a lecture than speaking. There is nothing good to speak because there is nothing to learn but other's speak. An older person with wisdom has the better speak. Casual speak will go nowhere. Those with wisdom and experince end up teaching. Everyone could teach. Some wisdom is better than others. Sound could infulence us through movies, music, and lectures. 


More important than sound, is reading. Reading and writingare advance concepts. To read, one has to understand written langauge. And to write, one has to understand to read. Reading is an alterantive to speaking. Prior to the Guttenburg press, everything was told oral. Preist after Presit would share the history of the world with each other. No everyone could read, even write! It is hard to imagine in the past 200 years of the Western histroy, reading and writing was only available to the elite and upper-classs. It is greatful that I can even write my thoughts everyday like this. Only a group of elites knew how to read and write. Reading is important because it is langague on print. The written word started originally started as a string of nonsense from a session of speaking. Th Egyptians capture this through pictures. The Chinese were smart with their caligrapy. We would further create the sentence, the topic, the thesis, and ultimate structure. Written words sere a purpose to write down histroy, thoughts, infinitley forever. Words are ultimate. Like all relgious doctrines, words are wisdom. To read further improves speaking. We learn new words and are mindful how we speak. Even to the fact we can as well learn a new langague. Once we have mastered reading, we can finally write. Some have know to write without reading. Old Japanese is know to create scribbles, as a way to accomodate sound. Like a soundwave. This has a foundation in speaking. Writing clarifies all langauge through a science. It is not ultiamte, but serves a a guideline to clear langague. I am greatful to think, speak, hear, read and write. It is hard to coprehend another forigen langauge like Japanese. It takes dedication. Like creating a new "Operating System" in brain.


This branch of lanague struture can be used to understand how people learn. How we communication, and how we create art. In an age of extreme egotism, isolation, and autism, to learn this branch is important for critical thinking. It will help accomplish the goals I want to achieve. 




I had a strange dream last night, in a board game store. It was a strange game store. Things that were discountinued were on sale. Some Lincoln Logs here, some colorful candy orbs there... But then I saw "Killer Bunnies Fluxx edition, Purple Booster #3." Along with "Killer Bunnies Fluxx Limozeen expansion" (The limo moves everywhere and kills things on a 16x16 square) "Killer Bunnies Fluxx Orange exansion #5" and "Killer Bunnies Fluxx Green expansion #6." The Limozeen expansion was $34.95. Both Green and Purple expansions were $14.95. I didn't have the money in the store, obviously. If I did buy them, I would be in dept with my credit card. If I would buy them, I would sell them on ebay for twice as much in the store. I think the dream symbolizes laster summer, in 2015, when I found all the boosters for Killer Bunnies and resold them for four times the amount online. This was late May. I remember around June, in Wildwood, I bought Killer Bunnies Conquest on my phone too. It was for $50. I used the Killer Bunnies money to buy it. It was a nice three days in Wildwood. June 14-17. 






Buy list:

-Blue Dragon guide

-Mineo Maya comics on Japanese New York bookstore website

-Tickets to go on the beach with Alice.

-Old School Magic Proxie cards

-PS4 with Doom 4, Dragon Quest Heroes, KOF 14.


...maybe borrow money from Mom if can't get money in time. 


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