Thursday, December 29, 2016

Nightmare / Beach / The Bum


I want my room clean and my brown table empty before school starts August the 22. I thought about clothes. I really don't need it. I am not a fashio n person. I wish I can wear a suit and tie instead. I want to show off my dedicated, and discplene beauty. That sounds right. Something like the Japanese would have a mindframe like that. I can't even the recall the gay shit other kids wore. I am not a kid anymore so fuck'em. 

I hope the roll of the dice will supply me with a good enviorment this last semester. I always think like that before each semester. And the last too were really fucking shitty. I am going insane. I want these last two to be easy. I am strong. I will make my stand and fight off oppenents. Th is is what is needed in the buisness world. I think it's funny these insitutions make life as if it is this Greek philoshy game or fun social club where everyone is a gentlemen, when in fact it's quite the opposite, and barbarians and putting illusions of this sort agaisnt me and other young n ot-so-innocnet kdis. They fall for it. And they will either go in denial or deal with this nature some how. Most people try and exert thier persona lity into a game that's nothing like them. Thinking about my Netrunner gro up at Wegmans actully. A lot of buisness have to do with people psycology , manipulation, and explotiation. Buisness is advacne. It's not a goody-to o shoes game. My grandpa was right. Lie-cheat-steal-kill-rape when you ha ve the chance. I felt some guilt ain my academica career. No matter. I sh ould not feel guilt. Guilt makes me weak. Cheating is a moral thing to do in this competeive and hostile world. I am doing the right thing. Everyon e who plays the game gets fucked in the ass. 

I wrote 1200. Time to tune in to Jared Taylor before bed. Get in my five hours. Hope the interent is back on Saturday night! 




I had such nightmare last night. It was like, everything was bad happening in it, but, I got revenge the moment. I had to work (((phone company))) and deal with the fake money currency and the idiot people that think the job is rewa rding, but rather wasting their time. And then, there is supposedly this College, which turns into a baby school out in the middle of the forest . A strange collison between joining the track and feild team, my bad all -women english classes, cucked men, and the secuirty state and small clich e of worhtless, upper class teenagers. Also some racial problems with a ho stile black that didn't like me (I think it was Nadir but he is the least likely person to confront me). Also again, my tranny friend Joshie want's to ask out that bitch Emili (who the fuck spells their last na me with a fucking "I?" I might as well be "Joi." Trying to edgy and origi nal but still connected to the background.) So this dream conculdes really nicely while I am suffering from this amount of pain. 

I run out of class, the sports couch tries to stop me, I find an exit he c an't get me. I walk into my annoying girl English room. Only to yell all at them back. They ignore me of course. And then walked into my phone job fun-saturday quiz day. I said "all of you are stupid" and "you are only fighting for fake money and your lives and this meaningless. Wake up!"

did a dance everywhere to be my last great who-rah. And then seeing Emil i walking down the hallway, I could not ignore her, so I got my tran frie nd Joshie, (Josh, who had a crush on her in my dream. By the way, is a guy cross dressing as a girl and identifies as a lesbian. Makes no sense, I know. Degenerate) and pushed him in front of Emili to talk to her. Josh of course was too shy to confront and easily backed off. Emili looking confused and snobby dissed him and moved right along like a begger asking for money. I yelled back at her, "your a bitch!" She yelled back, "your a bitch ." I said, "I know." And there was a previous moment where my dumb philosp hy teacher was with this black kid trying to say I was some kind of insenstive racist. I told him all the reasons why you should not think like tha t and I won mostly. He had nothing to say but suck on his thumb. 

As a reward for all this clamity, there was a board game convention and video-game thing on at 4 till 11. I had to leave early to go to the dentist at 5, but in my dream, I was still determined to find Neo-Geo and games 


I never heard of. Then I woke up with a sore headache and still feelings ome sun on my since yesterday. 

The beach was fun yesterday. The only problem was, waiting on the bus fora few hours and laying on the beach with nothing to do but napping and thi nking about things. My brain was writing without a Freewrite. If I brough over my Freewrite to the beach or something, I would of been writing for the next 4 hours and getting those thoughts, like a lasso over a wild crea ture, and putting them down on canvas. I feel a little upset now I can't think about those things since yesterday. Most of the thoughts are long gone. I dod remember a few... If I can sum it up in a paragraph. 

I was napping on the beach. Getting squahsed, I had to streach my feet in the air and arms. I made a noise of a gurgaling yawn. I overheard a bit l ater, some guy and his jock friends behind them said "oh wow look at that guy strech his arms and makes noise, he's probley a perv of some sort or m asturbating, laying all by himself." They countinued on with other subject s in the same spot. 

Intresting. I was alone with myself, and will more likely get bombarded w ith insults. If I was with my brother or girlfriend, there would be no in sults. It's intresting to think the insult will only come if I exist alon e in public. As if, to counter this, I have to be a strong man, like John Wayne or the Doom4 guy. Most people have to flock togetehr in order to no t suffer from single barbarian order. And if I was do something that was agianst the norm of society, I would be publicy shunned for it. This is l ike the man in New York who passes a homeless white person and says, "Get a job you bum!" 

Now, this would not happen if the bum was non-white. 

I had a friend named Dosha, who is both Chinese and Jamican. Last year, sh emoved from Harcum to Drexel. Why she did this. She felt that the all white girls club was ignoring her or only taking in her points that satsfied the interest of the white girls that felt intitled. Meaning that, Harcum is full of upper-class white girls that are blissfully unaware of th eir surroundings, theroy, and self-nature. They pretend they are open-m,in ded and liberal, but in action, they ignore things that are non-white or o ppose to white-womendom. Open-mindfulness and liberalism is really just a charteristic of white people. And white women are not unique creatures oppose to men, they mimck the behavior of white men as women. So when men supppose to men, they mimck the behavior of white men as women. So when men b lame women for all problems, it should be realize is that it was men who are acting out theroy and white women only mimicking as a means of surivi al and relationship. Women are open-vessels and are programmed to be mtohe rs, not warriors. Women can bleive they are warriors if men say they are so. A Japanese woman once saidthat Japanese women are "that of a coruse mix between a human and a bird in a cage." So much wisdom there. -Jared Taylor said that.

Dosha moved is because white women, like Emili and her autistic, physco-socialist friends, shunned her because they are afraid to answer to non-whit e, women like themselfs. They are afraid to be called racist. Also becuas e they dont understnad the non-white perspective and rather defuse everyth ing as being egalatarian (another white person charatheristic). All nonwhites of the world realize that white women are cartooned as Cinderrella, a Victorian princess, or some kind of mannerism English god. This is the ch aretristics of white women. 

That's why the New York man is afraid to call out a non-white bum. He wil l be called a racist! He will lose his job! 


a new cat


He is playing Depeche Mode wihtout my will. No. It's t oo much and almost embarassing. I better watch what I tell Dave or he is going to mimick it. I wish he wouldn't do that. I feel like I underestim ate my power when I am near him. I don't want him to like everything I like. I jsut tell him about the things I like, and then he plays cop y cat. I feel bad sometimes, for the wrong actions I did, Like spit in hi s face or get mad at him, while he will drastically change the next time. 

I wish he wouldn't do that. I don't get attached to things he likes. But I am on to music, that is an influence in my family. So I stick w ith it. I don't listen to anything he plays. I learned funny jokes And popular commentary. Gangster Popeye and Mamin Baby. Good source of information. But I am not a replicat of all his moods. 

Selling my sexond Roland TB-3 and A Game of Thrones Cards. I need the mon ey to buy a hybrid microphone/interface to record vocals, sing, in Reason. 

Either I get Line 6 Sonic VX or Apogee One Mac. Apogee looks like the be tter canidate. I have to confirm that it works with Reason or any other Da w to record vocals. After I buy that, I can finally make the music I want 

to make. I am getting less and less interested in hardware and that is a good thing. 

In other news, No Colemak typing. Sorry colemak. I have been typing again I have invented my own typing style through QWERTY. I know I should lear n touch typing in the future. That would make sense. But so hard to go slo 

w while typing. I feel this way has a better curve to it (my original, lo oking ath the keys while my hand covers the right side of the keys and the 

left types the delicate words. My fingers are like spider legs touching little buttons). 


I am going to the beach tommorrow ALONE for the first time. My dad ppreach ed to me about bus stop pedophilia. What out for older pedos. I will be ok . I will not get obducted. This keyboard will keep the infomration in hea r that I DID NOT GET OBUCTED and it was aconicende if I did. Which I don' t want to get kidnnaped or die. The family will find out about my notes s oon enought. Enough dooming pesimissm. I will not die. I will enjoy myself 

tommorrow on the beach. Now, I have only 5 hours to go to sleep starting at 1. I am typing after midnight. 

while lifting weights, I thought about the Sammer Jam 10 thing I will be going to too. I hope I do see Kesly there and for that day. And I hope a normal ps4 pad will do. I am not buying a stick. I made up my mind. I don 't even have access to other people who play KOF on a daily basis. In fac t, do I even want to assciate with those kind of people? I have assiciate d with Netrunners and board gamers for some time. It was fun. Not my life though. I should ground myself back to music. I gave 6 years of my life to 

games. Maybe even 10, if I started at 15 with Doom the board game. Odd. 

Now I am playing Doom4 on ps4. Amazing. And the game is almost like Doom 3 all over again. Maybe I will grow out of Doom too. 

I have grown out of Doomtown too. The game ended when I stopped. 

(when I always press Special, I end up always at 600 words. 600 is so com mon for me. What I am really trying to aim for everyday is 1000-1200. Tha t is a good amount. Write that everyday for month, 30 days or so, and that 's 30,000 words! enought to fill a novel! Think of a single chapther as be ing 1000 words each. And make it 30-40 chapthers. That sounds like a good novel to me. This novel I am writing about is my personal summer. Trainin g too to think about it. Eventually, I will get into the mood and write a 

fictional prose or research/academica project. I will be doing papers al l over again in the fall. My last semester. So lets make it my Swan Song) . 

I need a bos to ship out that Thrones binder in. Book cubbies are find. I 

moved down those game boxes finally. I need to move that seagull and pict 

moved down those game boxes finally. I need to move that seagull and pict ure of the beach. Funny, I am going to the beach tommorrow. So no need for pictures. Also I need a new Chinese cat to get me through the fall semes ter. Two years ago it was Pink for love. I got Alice. Second it was for E 

ducation. This is my last semester. What should my next one be? Money? Bu isness? Fortune? I have to go to the mall and get a new cat. 


Monday, December 19, 2016

Lisa Shin fan


Life is really bad when there is no internet connected to the house. Absouley zero internet starting this Monday and the tech guy is suppose to solve the problem this Saturday. I am going to the beach by myself. I will sunscreen myself and maybe bring a chair. Will have the backpack on me all day. Hopefully will not get burnt. This will be my last gooday on the beach. Mom want's to go to Lancaster for Grandma's 87th birthday. Another full day. She's half dead now. And I am not so sure if she is alive. She made some wrong choices in her life and will countinue to do so. That is her faith. Nothing and worthless. 

Downloaded some more Reason rack extensions (luckly while the internet DID work around noon). Five canaidates: AS-16 Sequncer, Ivoks, ReDominator, Glitch, and Tick-tick. Selling my second TB-3 to get the money, maybe bfor an interface and a mic if the touch and sample thing dosen't work. I really need the internet back on so I can look up Youtube videos to know how to do it. 

And then there is Doom 4, which is finally donwloaded thanks to Drake's house. Verizon is better! Work taught me one thing, and that is Verizon is t he better deal. 

I was over Quigly's house tonight with Ryan. His friend is autistic and lazy. Red hair, glasses, weed smoker, DJ, music maker, real name Al. He did play some really intresting records... I chose by the way: 

Mr. Fingers - Can you feel it? Instu mix Frankie Knuckles - Baby wants to ride Neu!
Nina Hagen - Fearless 

Kraftwerk - Tour de France 

This records I am fimiliar. I forgot how much I love Nina Hagen. KMFDM era, alien like voice, Rebirth hyper industrial 1999. Technology goes by so fast. 

Watch a little bit of the Reublican National Convention at his house. Saw this cute Asian walk on stage. Lisa Shin. Korean-American, politicain for New Mexico. "I would date her." I said. TV went off. Black friend came in. Liked what I was watching. Said he is voting Clinton because Sanders said so. 

More Qiugly DJ night. 

Two cheeseburgers, fries, chicken and suace, four birthcake cookies (chips ahoy), chip sandwhich (cookie chip), black berries... water... 

I feel it coming. Clenching my butt so the poop won't fall out of my anus. I like the feeling as my two buttcheeks clench. It feels good. Good like Sonic & Knuckles for Sega Genesis. Very early memories. Things are memorized everyday at the age of 14. Ten years ago... wow. That's when life really started. But before 14... everything is a no styalgic blurr. Some memories hear and there. Idk. 

Getting upset at Banjo Kazooie. Just remembered. Now I can beat the whole game while listening to Depeche Mode Violator by the beach in three days. 


The poop was finally released from my anus. It slided into the toilet wat er. Looked at it, whiped my butt with toilet paper, and flushed it. Washe d hands. 

90% of people look at their own shit, after they taken a shit. - 

Glad I am back ony my typewriter. I am afraid to get back on it if I am g one from it. Strange. When I start typing, all those horros go away, and
I countinue from where I left off in thought. 


I want to sell my Game of THrone cards now. I grew out of it. I don't wan t to see the cards ever again. I am not longer in that state of mind. (I should move those game boxes in the basement too. Tired of looking at them 


). How can I remember, now it's almost been a year, since Glen was being a jerk too me? It left that much a mark on me, that card games, in genrea l, is a backwoods are worthless tradition that dosen't need me. I am too s trong and healthy for them I realize. I have moved on. That was the past. 

I sold my Doomtown cards. And now, AEG pulled the plug on it. I started m y own Doomtown club back in 2014 when I was 23. Ended when I was 24. No o ne came, jsut one guy. I did my best. Doomtown failed when I stopped play ing. Thrones will stopp too. Fantasy Flight just got everyone that played first edition thrones onto new edition. New eidtion was made beacuse of th e wild success of Thrones HBO series. It's that worhtless. No new players, 

no changes. Fantasy Flight dosen't spend money on advertisers and expects 

people to make blind buys and perverted devotions. Nerds. That's what the y all are. The scene is not growing, it's shrinking. Cards grow, but peopl e stay and find their niche. Fantasy flight is offering too many games wi th too many niches. It won't do. It's simply a fashion statement. Everythi ng is now like Legend of the five rings. A cult card game with a niche ad ueince, but totally not like Magic. So boring and useless. Weak people. 

I think I have reached a sweetspot with cards existing in Netrunner. I th ink I like... Let me do the math. 112 Core, 120x5=600, 220 Expansion. 332 ... 932 cards? 900 cards? Is that the sweetspot pool? I like doing math. S o let me see now. 

Lets say Core offers 120 original cards. And then expansions are 55 origin al cards too. So if the game were to get rid of cycles and offer just 55 card expansions. That would be. 50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50-50. 

15 expansions? Three a year? 5 years or sooner? 750+120=880/ Sounds about right as the sweetspot. Stop the game after the 15th expansions. Cheap and 

affordable card game. aboout 400-500 dollars. This is the future of coll ectible card games. Amazing. I would like to take of this design and star t my own CCG. I should examine all the other CCGS offered too and compare them with this slaes design. Examine, compare and contrast, card pools and 

avialbility. Most CCGs were made for money. I am making them out of util ity and design. 

See there? I go talking about board and card games because I love them so much. I don;'t think the normal world understand my love for card games. T he board game scene will never understand. . 


...Time to charge this guy. 

Good Asian Porn

Awesome porn I saw today with this beautiful Chinese girl sucking off a nice white dude. She was A-cup, like most Chinese. The video title was som ething like "she learns to suck white cock." The room was fancy. A bunch o f punk posters on the wall and flyers. I saw the band "Doom" which my brother likes. So this guy is somewhat of an edgy and physically fit. How did he get a nice chinese girl? I don't know. At the end, she spited out this long white line of sperm from her mouth. A giggle. Extremly cute. Sperm on someones body is like children hugging her skin. A way that, that the white guy's genes and family runs on her body. She allows it. She is one with him. She respects the family. At the same time however, I ponder her existence with him. Does she know his white boyfriend likes Doom and other punk bands? What does she think about it? Is it macho for him? A way for him to really be a man? Is he responsbile? Or is he decadent and depraved? 

I am not sure. But other white americans try and emulate like him. - 

A thought came to my mind. A poor liberal white trying to be gay and emulating to be a jew. Great. That is someone mental illness right there. Wha t does that make me? I have to be strong and fight this force in the future.

Also, got this nice poloroid box today for my Freewrite. It fits perfectly. Althought, I should really only use it when I travel with the freewrite. It's not a good dust protector. I will find it really annoying once I over and over again put the Freewrite in and out of the box to use it. I should only use the box IF I am bringing the Freewrite somewhere. Which most likely, Am not. I will put it in the closet until I have use for it to bring the Freewrite somewhere to write. Yes. 

So annoying. I really wanted to play Doom 4 today. But ended up being annoyed it was not loaded and could not fully played it. What a tease. I got to play level three tonight. Still not satifsfying. I never knew downloads would be this harsh with PS4. I pretended to be lazy today so I could w ait for Doom 4 to download. I watch some Top5 videos on abandon islands, f orbidden places, underwater creates and sounds, and underwate caves. Cool stuff. I like sea creatures. I love the water the most. Exotic and cool. Cave Fishes are cool. 

Tried to learn some Reason today, but mainline pennsylvania Reason employer told me advance editing and mixing technigues instead, not operations. He said use Blocks instead of Redrum and Kong, and if you use Redrum, layer it, put the sounds to differt channels, and put some EQ compression on t he sounds to make it feel slow attack and "punchy." I really don't get it. 

He's manipulating Reason like a card game player messes up a deck in a CCG. Totally too much innovation and less about operation. I just want to l earn the thing and know whats what and whos who. Annoying. 

Interent still acting slow. I should go downstairs and see if downloads can work while the PS4 is in rest mode. 

(I been typing the word "just" too much. Sounds so instant and quick. Tryin g to ignore, but it comes back). 


Donald Trump was on tonight. He came out as a silloutte and surprised ever yone. "We are going to win, he said." Drake says, "Nigger rap, all star game." Almost like, "Nigger games." Which Trump is like. Nigger poltics. That suits him well. I missed his speech.  

Tried to text jack again but he never want's to hang out anymore. He is becoming more stupider. I think I have to let him be. He is really dying a lone. He just complains and worries. 


No title


The strucalist teneded to argue that there is NO innate meaning within the text. 

There is some wisdom to this. 

At my education at undergrad college, I have realized in these "survey" classes, they ask the students "what did you see in the text?" Total baby shit. 

This constant and daily musing made me realize that text: novels, books, newspapers, anything written in physical form, is an illusion. That, the text, is rather, a rulebook or guideline to a game. A rulebook or guidelines. 

The text is not meaningful. It does not take over out lifves. We take over it and create meaning from it. In return, we feel it has a sacred power over us. 

Books, call it, "third-party bibles" if you will. Wrong way to think abou t text. The text is a rulebook or guidelines. 

If I have really read the text, I would have taken things that meant some thing for me. And me only. There is no objective reality. 

The way I read Dune by Frank Herbert is differnt the way you have read it . 

Novels are rulebooks and guidelines. 

Readers "deconstruct" the text and take what they want to justify the perv ersions that they have. Again, text has no innate meaning. 

It is art on a wall. The text is. 

People have read the text wrong. Lilly, that dumb bitch in school read it wrong. They treat the text as good as the bible. A "third party bible." A facade and a perversion to make sense of their active and offensive personallity. They are reading themselfs. 

The world and the west, in all honestly, is primal and natural. But, the bourgeois classes and elites are in denial of this behvaior and wish to control it or alter it and maybe even add in some religion to it. They say race dosen't exist and sex is great. But really, race is real and sex is not that idyllic. People are primal and the working classes live by this truth. Eventually, the higher up classes are over thrown by the primal class. We are animals. That is our nature. 

Accordingly so, this illusion about reality exist over academia and modern life. We live in a Soma state. We belive our lifes are meaning through "pyscosocial" narratives, careers, and selfishnis. Everything around use m akes our life meaningful, but in return, are not so meaningful. Everything it a sales pitch, a paywall, a trick to decive our interest and culture. 

We are a consumer culture. 

The text has became "second person". It dosent matter. What matters is if the text matters to YOU. The text, according to academia, is as well rulebooks and guidelines. Professors surf the text to find sources and quotes and again, recite them in thier own written text laangue, to be published in another guidelin/rulebook to be yet again, cited. Professors treat the world of academia like that of a car salesman, a stock-person, a manager, and any other job creating and selling products. The text is the commidity which the use and create new text to sell back again. It is the product. 

To the student, the text is a rulebook and guideline to prepare them for the "as-if" job to become a sales manager. It's less about meaning. Often, the student will make the mistake that the text is a third-party bible, or a scared piece of text that has something to do with hierachy meaning of intellect cultuire and history. In reality, it is just text that is often used in the guidebook/rulebook circle. Again, the text is a guideline and rulebook to a game people want to play. 

Shakesperare? No differnt from the operation manual of your newly bought video game system. 

Plato? A grocery lsit to the food you need to buy. 

Any other victorian writer: your montly bill send it to pay for the house you got.

Why then, would these names would be sacred anyway? Because people read the text like that of sincericty, objective science, and of a sacred relgious bible. Names like Shakepseare and Plato, the ancient tradition of Western Civilization. The world is primal. This is why they are defended. However, wisdom and cheerful quotes are nothing more than text without meaning. Guidelines and rulebooks to play the academica professional and to defend one self in the wild. To play a game. 

There is no rules to the game of survivial and the primal world. There is however, relgious books. But non-relgious text, like Shakepsere and Plato are rulebooks and guidleines too. 

To have any interest in "meaningful" text, is a selfish facade. In the end, we are confirming words on a canvas that relate to our personality, confrim personal belifes and opinions, and worship false gods that help make our personalities. 

False gods, by the way, are like the poltergiest. Ghost. They don't exist . They never existed in our lifetime. Yet, the ghost exist, and the text haunts us. And we want to belive the holy ghost is with us. Tomology tends to belive the holy ghost is in ALL text. True. 

That is, when are we going to belive that Jesus, Shakespere, and Palto are not real? They were dreams that existed many years ago that don't exist in our own current space and time. In fact, do we even know if time existed years ago? Do we have time correct? Or is that a dream too? 

Literary figures are figments of our imagination. They are not real, even how hard we would like to belive they are real, we never walked by their side. 

We should walk and talk with the people in this room. And read the text t hat is being created now. Not a billion years ago. In the end, we only re cieve the wisdom from these ancient text. But once again, ancient text we re written by people who existed only 500 years ago. Everything is facade . Translators, editors, a tradionalist are not the original, authentic voice of the ancient old text-writer. 

Homework is a guideline and rulebook to greater and more primalnature to sruvive and be a leader a world runed by animals with adavance langauge and concepts. 

That is, Us. 

The text won't save you, it won't help you, it won't help current political situtaitons, reality dosent exist and is a figment of your imagiantion. 

It's the reason why liberalism, communism, and the new left in genral, failed to understand. 

Once this is understood, I think we can all be "red-pilled" and break from the matrix. 

After all, I am a student in a room with a bunch of spoiled brat girls who are reading things out of mental masturbation. Just compare and contrast this to anyone living in Allgengy, Philadelphia. 

Nothing is being learned. We are actors on a stage. We are trying to play a game we don't understand. But of course, the text is there to help us play the game. 

...If you are dexlysic, you are alreadiny ahead of the game. Because you can't read the text, you can only act out as a game player and only guess. Letters and words meaning nothing. Only things that make us happy. Communication helps conform us. Might as well lie the whole situation and pretend you read and quote. 


Work sucks



I can't believe that one autistic idiot working for his company is 24 years old, going to get married, has a "audio enginerring" "degree" (not bahceor' s or asscioaates) and was originally from California.


This is your life. And you chose to be a phone guy surfing west Philadelpiha? Your worse than Will Smith! And I bet this idiot does it for 57 hours too and likes it. 

That is your destiny. That is one destiny I would personally not accept. 

I like job shifting. That suits me the best. 

I will just have to go find another job that will use me. Number one thing about getting hired is... employment is for those who don't want to to do the job! Best kept secret. Employment never gaurentee it would be safe. I t's just open is because... NO ONE WANTS TO DO IT. Possibly the position is inhumane or even worse. 

Then, why the facade that work promise flowers, unicorns, girls and adeve nture? I guess that's the attraction and the lie. The only people who lov e thier job is those that suffered these previous positions and "worked" ( code for lie-cheat-steal-kill-rape) to the top and become America's 10% e lites. 

Really? Once you reach that top, making 90 to 100 thousand a year, we end up reverting back to being kids. teenagers. Is that why America is obsessed with youth? Freedom from the responsibities, the duties, the guilt of work? So idiotic but true. Why can't we like those things? 

The lady in the blue dress, I remember, (((that idiot))) told me IS the 5% of America! Intresting. What does she even do? 

Nothing. Being yourself. Elites push their lives on to the unfortunate one s that make their own lifves possible. Strange. Why does the working class suffer so much to make the dainty, innocnet elite class so... innocent? 

The elites want nothing more but a house, a pool, three kids, a dog and ca t, cars and an income, to pay for the perverted hobbies they like to do. B each this summer, vacation for the kid this fall, happy celelbration this christmas on our yaot boat this winter. 

Strange life. America helps enables this. I love America... but. 

The elite calsses eventually become beogeoius, depraved, and decadent. Wo rse. Their vaulves and spread on to others. They run the game. And the on ly way to compete with them is to fight back with money. America gives us the chance to be Gods. But their are many gods, and gods fight each other. In America, we are above the law of world, and eventually we are bored . 

We are miserable because we are free. 


Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Roleplaying Gamers. Fuck them.


There is a difference between a “Roleplaying Game” and the act of Roleplaying. Roleplaying can be depraved and decadent. Exist on websites like Omegle and RPHaven. A Roleplaying-Game is a hobby name for the act of roleplaying within the hobby market of traditional board and war games. These too hobbies clash with one another and do not relate. Just because someone likes “Roleplaying,” doesn’t meant one will like Roleplaying with dice, paper, figures, and stats. Nor will the D&D player decide to become obsessed only with the escapism and reality changing concept of just the act of Roleplaying. The D&D player wishes the act of roleplaying only in the confines of traditional games with rules and structure. 

These two passions really are against each other and do not mix well. Hence, both consumer base and audience are actually confused what they really want out of the two. For D&D, are we interest solely for rules, paper, figures, dice and creative story telling? Or, for the act of just roleplaying, are we interested for escapism, an alternative reality, less-of-a-game, and more as a dialogue. 

These two are both needed to be talked about.

RPGs tend to ignore the culture of Roleplaying in favor to emphasis that, “it’s just a game after all!” When does it collide with the passion of roleplaying? How much of this perversion is influential? Certainly, this would be playing the game wrong at this point. 

The same applies with MMOGS and roleplaying. Since now, Roleplaying is also associated with online games. World of Warcraft has helped advocate it. Are they WOW addicts or Role-play addicts? Escapist? 

The passion of role-playing is used. It is a physiological effect. 

I have never been interest in D&D for role-playing. I have been interested in the game for it’s playful creation with the text and which ultimately, with a group of people, interact with fiction. The games is the equivalent to a creative writing workshop but treated as a game instead. That’s why I like D&D. 

Not as a delusional, escapist, perverted, advocate platform for role-playing. Seek help if doing it for this reason. There is a market for you.

These role-players cannot ft in with board games. Their own perversions are apparent and not as healthy players. They cannot pervious reality and fiction. If these people played Star Wars: Imperial Assault, they would treat the figures like their own personas and treat the game like their own life. Like going out to the bar, but in a materialistic, and perverted way.  Most of them are fat and lazy to begin with. Weak people role-play because they are ashamed of their actions. 

Weak people come into board games because they are looking for an asset for power. This will make them strong. A healthy person sees that as a weakness as well. Healthy people do things correctly. 

Watch out for these people. Write about them. Keep them in check. Analyze their behavior. Define their friends and audience. The products they follow. The class they come from. The age group and appearance. The things they like. 

Are you like any of them? Most likely not. But, to manipulate them is to master a friendship. A source of power. 


the Ps4 story.


Kevin will buy a PS4 from his friend for about $215. I will chip in $100. I hope he plays games on it and takes care of the machine. Hope he dosen't use it to watch Netflix. A waste of money, that's for sure. Lazy too. I want it to play King of Fighters 14 this August. After I go to Summer Jam 10 as well. 

I should of check beach dates tonight on Hagey. I don't know why I didn't. I got too bored. 

Previously, I had Asian Bistro with mom. I ordered Genreal Tso beef and a California roll. Excellant. I talked to mom about working 60 hours compared to that of 40. How a "house" is NOT a nesscity by a frivously material istic thing. 60-hour working people need a bed or a dorm. NOT a house! Als o, what makes a 60-hour job ehtical and what should someone prepare to do it for... It's really all based upon the type of person and will of choice. That's whats great about America. 

Later, Mom drove to the farm and we got Ice Cream. I wanted a small vanil la in a cup. Mom got a recees ice cream in cup. She did not eat all of it . She tried to shop around for flowers by ended up with a close sign. We d rove back home. I did more research on the ipad about Reason. 


Should I buy it? Or should I be lucky that I don't have to waste $600 on i t? I think I am lucky. If I did buy it... Yeah, I could save global midi mapping. Maybe. Not really worth it. And finally make the Acid House musi c I want to make. 

Yesterday, I made a song called WHITE POWER and today NIGGERS. Haha. 

I was deeply looking for that "we will save the white race," chant from t hat jewish neo-nazi or Geroge Lincoln Rockwell. I remember it in my race and judaism class. Asshole gave me an F. Jew. 

I ended up with some classic quotes from Blood in the Face. Tried to impro vise on that. 

And today, I thought about that shocking and crudley embrassing chant by A lex Linder. Linder is a jew out to make White Nationalism evil. I know. I found the perfect NIGGER speech! 

I need to find more metal riffs. Brett Stevens metal collection on Youtube is fantastic. I have to look for another piece. 

Also, need to improve on mixing and mastering. That I really don't know ho w to do. I need someone to do it for me. I guess it cost $100 for one track. Oh well. Maybe. I will learn

The room is almost done. I need to move out that big corner thing with the cabels and everything in there. I don't need that mini mixer either. I w ill keep the USB cables. Sceince-fiction books on the ground need to slowly transition back in to the cubby shelfs. 

...I just thought about Collin's house. And his dad's office. His house is so full of clutter. Nothing but stuff in there. And... books. Useless books everywhere. Worth nothing. It's rather DOCUMENTS to justify a fictional PROFESSION. A perverted trade. All his has to do is go into one of his so-called "books" and squack out information that means nothing. Something t hat isn't wanted. I think the same way about my room. Some books I really do like. But however, have no versatile replay. Books. They are ultimatley worhtless in the end. After one reads one, they are put back on the shelft. To be conserved. Hollow text inside. I do feel it packs up the corn er of my room. Books that are kept are the books that have wisdom to it. W ill I pick up the books with wisdom again? Maybe. Books are so postmodern now. Why bothering when books can be bought online or read online? Strange. 

Books are documents to attack and exploit the weak. 

The perverted profession of a so called "English" major is to reherse the English lanague and play with the text. Some one need to know. THat's ther e perverted profession they rely on. 

What a joke. 

Automatic liberal. 

The only good trade I can think of from this: How to read and write. 

It's why I have this type writer in the first place. I can finally write my thoughts on canvas. Finally I am free from laziness and struggle. I ca n finally freely express myself and improve. 

...Colemak will not help me at the moment. I still need to learn it thought. 

Pause. Type. Thought. Type. Pause. Type. Type. Thought. Type. Pause. Type . 


That's really not a stable wordcount. I am somewhere near or below 40 WPC. 

I must put use to my so-called professional of ENGLISH AND COMMUNICATIONS after college. Yeah. Stupid nigger girl told me she did all to "commincate ." What a fuck job. College is so worthless. 

And she was the one that told me about the magical website called "" 

What another fucking joke. Blacks give me black wisdom. 

My existence is my virtue. I win. I don't need to obey no one else's law. I am god in America. 

Finally got a PS4. Brother got it this morning from a friend. 500GB and we only paid $215! Fantastic. Just it dosen't inculde another controller. 

Just bought Doom 4 moments ago. It is downloading right now. It will take forever, I know that. Hopefully an hour? Not so sure. Maybe a couple of hours. 

I looked at the whole Ps4 inventory. Theonly games that interest me is Metal Slug Anthology and King of Fighters 2000. I jsut really need another c ontroller so I can play them with Drake. Nooooo. Hopefully he will chip in. 

I don't like most of the Ps4 games that are offered really. Bad. More like, pretensious white people games. Games have evolved from NES 8-bit to inauthentic confusion. These game developers don't even know what a "game" is anymore. Idiots. 

Cleaned my room. Science-fiction books in the cubby. Have to move the card games in the basement and organzine the cables. Move the guitar amp and the power outlet. Need some kind of basket. Ookie Ookie. Tv in hear? Not sure. I like the minimal room alot. I don't feel I need to do anything. 

I feel I can do things and then move them out when I am finished. 

So... waiting for Doom 4 to downlaod and will play it for the first time. The wait is finally over! Next up: King of Fighters 14! 

...Should I get a fighting stick again? I need to check up what I wrote o n my phone memo. I did write something. I don't know. Thinking about going to the beach next saturday too. By myself. I really need it to be alone. 

Less stress. 

I should check in once in a while on office 365 and look out for the inden pendt study email that ms. baker promised. I think. Just hopefully will no t forget. 

I should buy Reason 9 too to be safe. Maybe. Will the money go anywhere? $500 for it? I am really thinking about spending it so. 


$500 for it? I am really thinking about spending it so. 

...I don't want Drake using it. And he will use it under my name too. No. I wish there was a way around it. Hopefully. He's an idiot when it comes to music. Makes noise and nevers publishes. Never keeps his songs on records. Idiot. 

I will just have to say I didn't buy it and make music as a secret. Yes. That works. MAybe only tell him I actully do have it when he wants to buy reason... maybe. Not really. I would rather keep it a secret. 

I remember my Magic old school print project. Really I just have to print out 4 packs of limited cards and use them for play. That makes things so m uch more fair. Jake's Magic Origins cards are good enough to play the game now. That set is way too balance. I would really want to prefer to play 

Magic the way it was originally held. Old School. 93/94. That really is authentic and LCG magic. Fantasy Flight should republish it one day as an LCG. Good thoughts. 

When has there not been a day I looked at porn in the morning, looked at c ounter-currents, radix journal, trad-youth, the right stuff, amren, and fa ntasy flight every daY? It's hard not to look at this stuff daily. I want to stop the habit.


I remember a time when I fond new stuff everyday. Now I think everyone has found everything and everything is relevant. Inform ation overload. No more new discoveries anymore. Annyoing. I need to find new daily habits on the internet., I jsut feel as thought there is someth ing greater to look at online and what I am missing out on. 

What is it? Art? Music? Writing? Japanese? Games? Video-Games? News? What is something I should ook towards dailt that isn't any of these things?? 

Vacation? Adult Friend Finder? Omegle? Maybe I should do things which get me out of the hosue then stay indoors and treat the interent as a tool an d library. My hobbies really come from the amazing power of the computer and the internet. 

I remember looking at Freewrite's Twitter everyday in Spring semester 201 6 just so this Freewrite typewriter can come out. It now has! And I am typ ing on it! Thank god! 


I think I should be using the interent to find places to hang out. Yes. Th at's always exciting. Just like how I signed up for Summer Jam 10. SNK told me this on the internet. I show up. I remember I use to look up concerts on the internet and I would plan out the dates I would go see a band. I use to been every social with the computer. I can;t keep up with the ever flowing data now. I wish I can control somehow. Comfort has became my habi t. I must check the news everyday to feel alive. It's better for me to re ad everyday than do nothing. I have to go walking the dogs, lift weights, some kind of "surrogate acitivty" (to borrow the phrase from the unibombe r). I should go back to Netrunner nights or go to Thursday night... Wedesndays? 

I am a self-made man. I don't need dependency anymore. I am learning the curve. Most people donm't do this anyway. If they are rich and famous, som eone else does it for them. I have to do these things on my own. This is the cold truth outside academia world. Most idiots with degrees in Miedevial History at Houston University ends up working for a phone company at a job in Philadelpiha. How odd. That was a self-made action. 

Everything is the action of one's will. I wish I had my own will back. Ezra Pound once said that a slave wishes someone to set him free. I don't need to be dependent. I need to create my own paths and become my own boss. This even means creating a path to make my own money as well. 

Euclide's Elements I should buy as paperback. I don't what it's about. But I do know it's a book about "mental masturbation." 

Cisero's On Duties is coming the mail along with Poloroid breif case for Freewriite. Good. 


Glenn, that dickhead.



Just got back from a fancy Mexican resturant with brother. It cost $65.00. I paid for the tip of $6. I had a coke. Not like me. It was ok. Too much 

. I can feel the drug effect now. 

And then I bitched about Glenn and his shitty game stroe all the way back in the car while Drake was driving in Vally Forge park at sunset. 

Mad. Turns out Doomtown is done for. August 2014 - August 2016. A good two years. Makes me want to meditate on that thought. I kind of knew the game would not last long. Maybe Fantasy Flight will ressurect the game oon en 

ough. Maybe. I sold my collection for $40! I need to buy it back for $150! Arrrghhhh! I should store it in a safty chamber and never open them again 

. Yes. It might be worth it. I get ideas how I would make my own CCG and release it like how Doomtown did it. Awesome. I know it can work out. 

Also, this dumb Pokemon Go thing thats going on. I hate it. Never liked Po kemon. I think I want to write out a 2000 word hatred for the game. Sum it up like this: Millinials get froced with Japanese products from the future, believe white idenity is like the Japanese, now have access as adults to drive cars, choose to go places and social outings for a socially akwar d concept. Not social at all. Mentally retarded and an escape from realit y. I can think about it more. But anyway, I always hated pokemon. So what ? Fuck them. 

I boguht two records today from Shady Dog. 1. Newcleus - Jam on it, and Ki taro - Asia. Cost me $11.50. When I was shuffling around for recordes, th e manager brought over cheese and spinach square pizza. He said, "hey! you 

want to try a bite? It's really good! you won't regret it!" I came in fo r a slice and slowly ate the thing while I check the Alphabetical listing s. I ask the Jewish guy, "No David Bowie Low?" He said, "I saw it a F.Y.E , it's a reissue!" I then looked over for Depeche Mode. Nothing much. Some 

great reward is still there. Tons of erasure. I just won't but it for some great reward is still there. Tons of erasure. I just won't but it for some reason. The Robert Fripp records haven't moved either. I tried looking f or Talk Talk It's my Life, coulnd not find it. Even though the website ha d it listed. I was going to go for Radiohead's new album on white lp. Too expensive. $32. Nope. I remember finding a Nitzer Ebb record too. I didn' t want to try it either. And there was The clockwork Oranbge Soundtrack, Switched on Bach 2, and Lord of The Rings jazz band. I would get that recor d if there were any electronics on that. My choices were made up and I bo ught the records.

I thought about going back to Sam Ash and buying another midi controller. Let's see. I have to go feed Alice's fishes, maybe go to board game night tommorrow at West Chester, clean room... The table seemse to be getting b igger. I really need to clean. 

I am getting happy for the first time in a while. I am not focusing on college at all! I just have to go forward and be an ani mal ready to go out for buisness war. Enough discpline will turn me into a crime-breaking corporate CEO. Hell yeah! That's what I want to be! 

(wow, first time I check the special button and I reached 600 words again. like I am so natural to hit 600 everytime). 

Thinking of bad thoughts now. Let see. I'm in the car with Car. A funny It alo-disco tune comes on. I try to make the point that Italo is about melod y and less about drum machine. Kevin buts in and tries to shoot me down. I clearly repeat myself and explain the house music, a more underground and lower-class genre oif the time, relied on exploitation of the drum machi ne and was anti-musical. Italo disreagarded house and saw the drum machine and anti-music. That's it in a nutshell. We went quite for a bit, picked the hairs of my belly. Went into the Mexican restruant. 

I shaved my belly and pubic hairs. I feel better. And my dick feels bigge r. 

I talked to Kesly in a first time in a while. I think i will be meeting him again on August 19 or the 20th. Exciting. Lulu book will be done by th en. 

I need to make a song in reason where i automate the TB303 with my new midi controller and make some drum patterns. Also have to looking into a US B mic controller. I want to sing again. I hope I get the best out of my 3 0 day free trial of Reason. 

Need... To... clean... room... UGGHHH. 


Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Ditch The COLEMAK / Play Paper Mario


...Did I ditch COLEMAK? Not sure. Just walked Leroy around the farm for 30 mintues and tried to start my weight lifting habit again. I can feel a differnce. Ever since I went to work, my expectations rose, and feel down tragically. I used 3/4 weeks of my life to try this internship. It just w asn't for me. 

And it was inhumane too. Oh well. That's why there is protest against phone company

Yesterday, I was trying to watch Star vs. The Forces of Evil marathon. DRAKE for the first time opened up the Magic cards I bought him for Christma s. I played too. The most balance Magic I ever played. I tried to watch S tar, but drake was ridiculing me yet again. I cried in my room later. I g ot to watch a few episodes. The problem was that the TV was switched on S panish. Retarded Grandma. She has depression. I can feel it. Also, low IQ . "Dementia" dosen't count. 

Slowly but surely, finally, my post tramtic stress disorder of late 2015 t o early 2016 isa going away. I have to unapolgetic and keep with my own g oals. It was unjust I went there. Just like the bad internship. I should l eave when I want. stay at a hostile campus. Not sure why. I am devoted to get that degree. I don't care a nymore. Lie-cheat-steal-kill-rape for it.

I bought a midi controller today with $160 of the Magic money. I have 1005 dollars left. Amazing. Three packs of Arabian Nights and a pack of Antiq ues. I am lucky. That would of been my internship paycheck by the way. 

I am thinking about buying Reason 9 for $400. And then $150 more for the a dd-ons (Tb-303, 909/808). The 808 is not that good. It's ok. Not sure if I want to go $40 on that. 

Yes. I want to write that My Life As A Teenage robot and Star Vs. The For ces of Evil comparison soon. I have to watch more episodes of Star. I fee l like I am 15 again. 9 years ago. MLAATR has ressurrected and it hauntin g me again. This time, Star is. 


(plugged the Freewrite into the wall, move it over to this white drawer, trying to sit and write this time. Batterty low. Charging). 


I have to clean out my room again. I have to move the sceince-fiction boo ks into the book cubbies. I have to get rid of the wooden thing right next 

to me. I put away both TB-s and the the TR-8. I don't need them now. Mak ing music in Reason is more powerful. I bleive it. Also, might need USB v ocal mic. I want to sing again. 

I have the money. Just, what to SPEND it on? Spend anyway? Or should I sa ve it? I need a an account, where I save the money, and cannot use it for 

anything else. 

...A savings account? Maybe. I already have one with more than $100,000 i n there. I am living the good life without spending any of it. Only using 

it for College. If I got the money, the university wants me. $$$. I will try Princeton. Once. And only for a class. Haha. 

I finally found Japanese Youtube clips of the real Mineo Maya in the fles h. Interviews and radio talk. Japanese only. I wish i was Donald Keene, or Edward Sidensicker, or Jack Seward, or... Jared Taylor. My Japanese is ok though.

Jared Taylor. Is that why I am like that today? I don't know. 

Listening to Amren radio now. Adrian Davis and Jared Taylor. Too bad I co uldn't see Davis in New York. Oh well. One day. 

What have I done this summer? Wrote and made music. King Trode and my soon to be Lulu book. Oh well. Summer 2016. 

Habits is the key to learning. The key to diuscpline. And the creating of GOOD art. 

L+_Special = Bright screen on/off.
Saves battery? It does. Hold on... Bathroom. 

Thoughts about Paper Mario. Koopa in nice hammick house, listening to electronic hawiian music...


Thoughts about Paper Mario. Koopa in nice hammick house, listening to elec tronic Hawaiian music, all day long. Laying there, The good life... 

Back. Shit and shaved my (((unibrow))). 

All I need is to shave up my hairy body and lifht weights. I become more confident in myself. I just don't want to be fat. I need to take care of my body more often. 

...the thoughts of college life come back to me. The feeling of dread. The fe eling of 10 months before. That in my life. How can I go on? I can. Is it curcial to my personal physcology? Or do I have to improve my st renght? I can't act like a "young" person anymore. I must be strong. Tough . I can overcome. I just don't know hoe to overcome irrational bad thought s daily. Is this normal? Or is it not? I think it might be natural for an y human being to have these daily thoughts of dread. Dread. How to deal w ith it? Most people cannot and probabley think it's unnatural. They try to purge it. Call it, a "triger warning." The millinial genreation is very intresting. I think this is apart of growing up. The bourgeois classes don ;t know how to grow up. Writing, this Freewrite, is my cure. My personal growth is writing daily. I want to coninue that. 

Hopefully I will be able to go to sleep tonight. Last night, I took a Mil atonin, knocked out at 11, woke back at 3, pissed, and listened to Charles Krafft until 6:30. Another Attack.
I am strong. I worry about this upcoming, last semester. I am strong. 

Lift more weights. Find girls. Find a job. Make an income. Find a place. That sounds like a plan. I am getting tired of Alice sadly. She's ok. Not sure If I can live my life with her. 

Yet, I keep coming back to her. I found her. I am proud of that. Maybe it can work out. Maybe. Not sure. 

I want to protest ot the US. Goverment that like Elliot Roger, I have never had sex! it with a pick-it sign in front of the white house. Don't blame them, blam my own actions. Make them feel sympathetic. 

And then they will reward me with pretty girls to have sex with it. R.I.P. Elliot Rogers. 

Diseased people write about diesaed things. Sex, Race, cruel hobbies. Vio lence. Violence! 

What will I do tommorrow? Unsure. Happy Birthday Dad and Carl Schmiit! 

Shady Dog Records, Feeds Alices Fishes, Sam Ash Again for econd Midi Contr oller, Comic book day. Lift wegihts, write again, make music. CLEAN MY ROOM. I have to put my mind to these things! 

Tried to hang with Dicklick and Jacob Danaker tonight. They are too lazy eating shit and playing shitty video games. Great. So glad I don't do those things. I want to be a healthy Aryan. 

 oh, maybe go to ocean city again this week? I yhink Hagey is offering the ride. I have to check. 

Too hurty to write on write drawer things. Need this on table. I will let the battery charge for now... 


Radiohead New Album Promotion



I turned off the black light now. Typing at 4 in the morning. Farting and cannot go nack to sleep. 

So, a lot jas jappen since thince. I don't know where to begin. I.. 

I feel writing in QWERTY is taKksd jj a yoll on my finbgers. I need to le arn colemak. 

Too tired to write and i can't see a word. I don't want to turn on the lig ht again... 

Ok, it's on again. This time I can't see the keys! And if the screen if o gg, I can't see tthe screeb! I am doomed either way. TYhat's why I wanted 

a night light or just learn colemak. ....Waiting on Colemak stickers too. 

I didn't eat much yesterday. Pasta for breakfast at 2, lunchable at 6, sh it too. I should eat fruit this morning. 

Collin want's me more over at his house at 12. Great. Not no sure If I do want to go. 

I had a dream about a messy room. Piss everywhere and dirt. Mad and scre aming. This is usually been happening in my sleep when I take a 10m Milla tonin. 

I had to wrtie because I thought about two things: 1. CCG defintions and 2 . The Ego Charachter and social narrative. I am coming very close to a ne w world view based around psycjology. As for CCGs, I have to write down m y board game / Netrunner career. 

Also, I should print out files abd put them o nthe usb stick. Just to be o n the safe side. 

Wow. I am finally touch tyoubg wutgiiyt care if nessubg yo wirds. Thanks Freewrite. Typing has became an uapoletic sport. 


Now to increase WCPM.
Too tired. Jave to go back to sleep. 00000 

Sent from my Freewrite 


-Today is my Dad's birthday and Carl Schmitts. I remeber last year the sam e thing occured and when I realized both my Dad and Carl Schmitt were born 

on July the 11th.

So... the itnernship. I did learn a lot. I can say that. And... So muc wh en on that, I lost my daily writing interest. I have to learn to get back 

to it. 

Also, I have been "unlearning" typing in QWERTY and noe trying to learn C OLEMAK. This is going really slow and actully distracting me. The more I learn Colemak, the less I write in QWERTY. Is this damaging to my writing 

Let me turn on COLEMAK on the Freewrite and see what I can write... today i write in colemak. my wordcount is slow. 

So yeah. That single sentence written above took me at least tow mintues in colemak. I am going in snails paste. Somehow, I have to discpline myse lf to learn colemak while at the same time, write a sentence or two in co lemak! THis is hard. Especially that I can just write things in QWERTY mus t faster and quicker. 

But why swtichy to COLEMAK if QWERTY does a fine job to begin with? 

First, after writing 6000 words about how to write a gamebook, I felt a st rain with my fingers or my wrist. I don't want this to countniue. I find i t quite akward too that the word "TYPEWRITER" is on the first line of the keyboard! As if, I am punching in keys I really shouldn't be learning to punch in the first place! I like looking down on the keys, yes, but, typin g should come so natural, that my fingers should not leave the home row an d be dsicpline to type like spider legs. 


I just thought about my book plan. Early May to Late August, I should comp ile my first Freewrite files, gamebook doc, and omegle sex roleplay, and 


ile my first Freewrite files, gamebook doc, and omegle sex roleplay, and compile it into a book. That would be the most perfect journal! That thoug ht just occured to me. Three weeks off the Freewrite and I feel like I ha ve shot. How will I be able to work a full-time job and still have an hou r in the night to write what I want? That must be accomplished. The Veriz on job was terrible. It felt like abuse. No matter. Keep looking straight 

ahead and let the past go (Joy Electric). 

My QWERTY hands are strange. I can look at the screen and know what words I am writing. But, my hands have strange movement. I never learned to "to uch type" under QWERTY. I don't want to start, because I would rather touc h type using COLEMAK. I still need to learn the words of Colemak... 

Yes. I have $1050 in the bank and waiting on an extra $100 from this one guy. My brother keeps pushing me to buy some stupid musical instrument. I thought about it. I really don't want to now. It's better just to save the 

moeny for later. I have power, but I like having that! Buisnesses don't care how people feel. In the end, they want my moeny to feel good about t he money they saved. Buisnesses exploit people's desires and get high off 

the money they make. The number 1 rule to any buisness, don't spend any m oney. Save it! And for the consumer, don't spend money! No transaction is ever "worth it." Only the electric and water bill, food, and homing is im portant. The rest makes life better. The best way to spend money is on th e improvements of one natural and healthy life. Not consuming. 

Everything is so topsy-turvey that people don't care. College is not even a safe transaction any more. Money spent is money lost. 

My $460 was worth it on this Freewrite. I really needed a typewriter. Bre aks everything from the millinial and computer establishment. I feel free 

from the "pyscho-socilaist" and "narrative" based life of the "similacrum ." 

This keyboard might as well a similacrum too. However, I am making sure I suffer some kind of pain while I'm on this. 

Let's see. I know what I have to do.
1. Clean downstairs corner. Get things off desk, move them upstairs in roo m.


3. Clean my upstairs book shelf. Move the science fiction books on the gro und and into the new books cubbies. Move outdated game boxes back into the 

4. File unused netrunne rcards back into the folder. Move Mineo Maya books 

off table and into book cubby.
5. Make sure nothing is on the ground in my room! 

I have been son lazy because I quite enjoy the surroundings of the thigns on my table. But being clean gives a new surrouding. 

Also, I have to get the printed out word discpline paper and move it upsta irs. I have to look at that again to get inspired. 

I only have two arts and crafts over the summer. Writing on this Freewrit e, and making music with the TR-8 and two TB-3s. I have made a couple of tracks online at 

Yet, when August comes, I will have to move the drum machine and synths ba ckl into the boxes in the closet of my room. I can see it. And eventurall y... sell them? Not sure. I like them a lot. But music really is a "renta l" thing. I only buy things to rent them and give them away to other peopl e in use of them. That's sounds like a significant life for the machines. 

I thought about buying a new computer. Not sure what I should do with it n ow. Make more music? Stupid. Play games? Maybe. 

Everyday, I've been seeing King Of Fighters 14 clips anbd I am getting mo re excited to go out and play the game. If only I got to see Penn every w eek. Or some kind of fighting game community. Some kind of King of Fighter s group. Arrrgghhh. New at least two friends... Kesley and Penn... to pla y the new Kof with. Come back! That scene at Montco was great! I miss it everyuday! Fighting games as a hobby is amazing. I wish I just had weekly 

acess to it. 

And then there is Netrunner. I took a break from it recently. I jsut bough t the last five packs of the Mumbad cycle. Glad it's complete. 12 more fu ture packs of Netrunner to go before it "cycles" out. That's when my Netrunner collection is complete. I might go see MAtt today and go play a game 

. ...If anyone shows up. And I have to make two decks! 

And then there is trips to the beach. I thank Hagey Bus tours. I feel so r elieved about it. Trips to the beach are amazing and refreshing. I'm not so sure the right words for that would be. But, I got money. So, a nice tr ip to the beach is fantastic. 

...Hungry. Will eat. Having thoughts about driving to Shady Dog Records an d pciking up Radioheads new album on vinyl. No. Spenindg money. Need food at the momenet... 


WORK IS 666.



I am really burtnt up, beat up, from my internship since the last two wee ks. Espicalluy a few hours ago. I have departed from my Freewrite to purs ue work. Om return, I am hurt. I am writing this possibly at 3 in the morn ing. I just masutrbated to the thoguht of the hot indian girl at work. Ame rican Indians who speak good english are amazing. 

My mind is set to "on" and I must write how I see things. I can't go back to sleep unless I can caych each thought and write it to canvas I have re alize the art of wtiying is more imporatn than work, acuyllu. Becayse it is woirk. 

LKet see. First, I am trying to learn COLEMAK as offour horus ago. I can ytu everuday and see where it fies frin there. 

Second, I had this thought about masturbation addictyion and porn addition. Two differnt things. Can one exist without the other? no. Porn is great. 

Long live our fascination with sexuality! 

...Now I feel crippled writing with QWERTY. It's like I woke up in the ma trix or soemthing. I can see mu hands do a dabce one the keuvboard. My rig hjty hand hoes up and down and my lefy just tyoers the others words. Itis like, when I think of words, my mind writes in QWERRTY! I think I should practice the thing stommorrow morning. the way, my glasses are on.. Thwe riin us dark and I cant see a key . Too tired to turbn on a light. Oh well. I can "inmaginwe" i am tying an d it works just as well. 

Onlu and idioy would think I am an idiot writing. Idiots don't deserve to write. 

I can write about the crazies I saw in Cedar, Thompson, and Ashton Townshi p. Westmoreland too. A day awat from the kleyvboard seems like a year. Ou ch. 

I want to finish that 6000 wird draft on hoiw to write a gamevbook. That d eserves attention. 


Yrah, I had yo write these things down the day it happend. Going to get so me watyer and god back to sleep. 

Also, have to go to BUTT FUCK Police station tomnmorrow tyo drop off a ti ckety, I forgot to put on my light beams. Anmd forogt adrivers liceenses. 

Ok, goodnight. 


Mondays Notes Taken 

Mondays Notes Taken: Crew you work with: Erica - Beach
Tevin - Gym 

Crystal - Read
– - Pyrolifting
Bryan - Family to take care of
Connor - Montain Bike
Mike (guy talking to you) - ultimate frisbee 

You should memorize the packet you have.
Maybe write everything over 17 times again and again.
-Print it out so you can read it.
-Mem orzie!
-Focus on the important things!
SMILE - Always Smile! Don’t ever feel sad. Or ele you will get fired for not smiling! EYE-CONTACT - Pay-attnetion and have an interest in your client / customer. Be trustworthy! EUTHANISM. -Be passionate about what you do! You ARE the Virizon Company.
The way you re-act, the way the customer reacts!
Be the thermastat! Not the thermoitor.
Complete strangers are like going out on the first date.
Devlope courtmanship and it leads into observation.
Observe a customers enviorment. Like his clean front-lawn or waving falg Flyers logo outside. 


Start an initial conversation OTHER THAN WHAT YOU ARE SELLING. -Your pets
-Nice hosue
-Nice motorcycle 

Pick up Verbal and non-verbal ques.
“How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.” 





-"Keeping up with the Jones.”
-I need it mentality.
-Not the fdirst or last bought.
-So and so bought it, I should have it. -Puersadion of the current fad. 

-Acting opposite of a sales person -Acting as the consultant
-How you are acting against the sale. -Looking for your self -Exploittative 

-Act before you miss out! -Paranoia
-Black Friday as an example. -80% off, only today! 

1. SENSE OF URGENCY. -Reward Factor
-Need to do it
-Do this now. 

-Reep the benefit further! 


-ACT NOW! Get these benefits. All 4 facotrs are IMPULSIVE. 


Remember this quote: 

“Hey Big Baby Wanna Wear Red Underpants Tonight?” 

H - Have nad maintain a postivie attitude. 

B - Be on time! 

B - Be prepared, fresh outfit, more relaxed. 

W - Work a FULL day! Without break! 

W - Work your TERRITORY correctly. 

R - RESPECT Yyour customer! and client! 

U - Understand your oppurtunities. Howto be effective at sales, how WILLING are you to do it? 

T - Take Control! -MAKE A DISCISION to do something! 



If you knock on 70 doors, your WILL get money! 

DAY 1: You talk to potential customre s all day and finally get A SALE OR TWO AT THE END of the day. 

DAY 2: Make good sales in the afternoon! However, don’t slack off! KEEP WORKING! Day 3: You make sales all day. Must make good connections for this to happen.


-Break the ice. Smile. EyeContact. Eutusiasm. 


-Tell a short story. Builds the impulse. Reduce the skeptics! -Sizzle the deal! Keep it simple Stupid!
-Be confident! Take control. Assume the sale!
-Suggest more options. Increase your profit. 

Today is June 20th. You have 28 days to create a habit in your internship. July 18th will be the transformation day. 

Create five goals to improve on that day. 

1. Waking up early
2. Going to the gym
3. Eating healthy
4. Reading a book
5. Writing everyday on the Freewrite. 

The Mastery. 

-Master your profession! You are a professional! In order to grow perfessionally, you have to FEEL professionally. 

-Work a full day.
-And then anything is possible to make your living!
-The process will happen right then and there.
Study everything above. Tuesday at 11. Weds and schedule 12-7. 


Monday, November 7, 2016

More Thoughts on "Alt-Left."


The declaration for the insitute for the alternative left. It is:


The French Revoultion was a misunderstood mistake. Communism was a regin of terror.The New Left made the left worse. The left created both itself and the right. There would be no “right” without a left. The Alt-left wants to start from year-zero and reintroduce what it means to be “left.” No violence or reveoultion. 

The “left” is an aspect of European man that wants Friends, Family, and Freedom. To live by the mind and to size every oppurtunity in life without limitation. to become a god. However, must work to get there, no free rides. All humans have the potential to live by the mind (no egalatarism, just the same potetnial to get there). To live a great life is to be fufilled. To think outside the thought of oneself and control. To become “free.” 

Also, write about “the perverted color of red” and send it to left politicall incoreect. They m...

(((where is the rest???)))



Work Sucks (wish a hot girl was sucking me)



The TR-606 expansion for the Roland TR-8 finally came out! I made a song with it. 

The half-blind black girl obsessed with Ash Crimson and Patalliro favorite me on my soundcloud and she likes “go fuck youself.” She commented on it twice. 

I should buy the beach tickets tonight. Alice might be availbe next week. I should buy 2, and if she dosen’t show, I will return the other ticket. 

I am starting work this monday and meeting my mentor, Shawn, tommorrow. He said he wants to give me stuff so I can catch up early before monday. Hopefully its not written homework. I am thinking it is just reading stuff. Good to know. 

I listen to Guy again last night. letsago YTMND site about “heffer’s mom” is always funny. He played a Guy song. I know Teddy Reily is in Guy. So I heard the first two tracks on the album. I want it on LP now... 

“Teddy’s Jam” is classic. Very nostalgic and quirky Fairlight Computing going on. That song has been stuck in my head all day. A good thing. I hear it in the morning. I hear it walking the dog, hear it eating dinner (Panera Bread. I had Steak and Cheese Panini thing) and hear it right now. A good tune. Will forget in a few days. Maybe. 

So I was thinking about the whole Brett Stevens thing. About how “blogging” and the interent does not lead to self-improvement, but arrogant egotism and hedonist nihilism. Bad things. The “Mineo Maya Fanclub” was launched. And I haven’t posted a new article in a week. Even though, I could get any daily piece I written and share it with the public. No. I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy. I really do now. The perspection of writing changes when you realize someone else is reading your work. Sallinger is right. I should stop thinkg about that. 

I feel like a much better person writing my thoughts in privacy. However, at the end of August, and the beggining of September, I need to compile all of my Freewrite pieces and create a single Lulu book. 

Purchased two copies. Keep one on my bookshelf, they other hidden away in my closet. It’s like I written it with pen and paper in a journal. No need to re-edit or anything. The written word is true. 

If I wanted to get better at writing, I chose an already existing piece, re-write it, and publishs it as an updated, better thing. No of my previosu thoughts change. Only langauge. 

I want to write about anything. It will be a private, limited to two copies, Samizdat. It’s like the whole Talk Talk, Aphex Twin, Sallinger privacy thing. That seems to be really authentic. I can already feel a self-improvemnt within myself. Knowing that my own writing is improving that I know I have made the correct edits and word choice. ...And typing speed! Knowing how much my Word Per Minute (WPM) thhing is going. And word count. Everything is word count! Not page count. Idiot teachers saying it’s worth “pages.” Idiotic. Word Count! Word count is everything!! 

Also, I have been playing with Softube Modular. Fun Eurorack Reason Synth. I hope they aadd more to it. If only I had a mac processor and a touch screen to go with it (or borrow a copy). That reminds me, need to downlaod Heartbeat demo and try out those modules too. 

What am I going to buy with my first paycheck? A suit and tie? Sounds about right. And finally that PS4? Yes. Don’t start psending so fast. Need to spend it wisely. 




Low pulse rate. 4AM. Three hour nap. Woke up. Mu head is sore from new pillow. Dosen’t work. I really think I need to speen 100 on the super kind. The turth is, that would work. 

I wrote too much when I was gone from this. I wrote walking, then I wrote in the pool, and a gain before bed 4 hours ago. I read Araon Cleary again. I am afraid to pick up books becuase of the wisdom I will take from it and think about in a whole week. Yet, I do feel a kinf od birvanna when the text agrees with my own solupist point of view. As if, I really don’t need to write in the first place, when current day test is there to back me on it. I feel relived. I am not the only one with thoughts like I have. Now, why dosen’t everyone else think like me too? A quest i countinue. 

Also, was bumming about my unfinished gamebook I started back in mid April. Two months later, I did write a bit in section B on this freewrite. I can copy and past the content into the gamebook program. Only on winds, only if I press certain buttons on the start up on my mac, and the program cost m e $ 60 for the year! Really re-considering. Could of bought a norm al chose your own adventure book. I bought it really for the web based building blocks and then the number generator. Thats what I need. Otherise, copy the numbers 2-399 on a text file, randonly select a number, delete it, and add it to the next entry. This is after when all the paths of have been written. 

I’m a genius. $60 saved. I should export the text and save it for later. Good idea. I will go back to once in a while. Hellfire Temple. I just got an idea about a teasing monkey section. It’s going to be really intresting once Alice reads my story. 2 hours max or less? Very small. I could write two adventures and put them in one book. Or three. 

A day without writing is such a waste. Why can’t I just go up to the typewriter, turn it on, and start writing? 

Also, why in the world do I need a $1000 computer right now? And with the whole music making process with the TR-8 and two TB-3s? That’s successful. 

I never picked up Dragon Quest 8 for the playsation after I traded in the pink DS with DQ9. Something about 9 is not right. 

Am I lazy? A parasite? A attention-deficent disordeite? Spoiled and careless? Escaping? Or is the internet way too powerful as a souce of media? 

And also, maybe these hobbies are a reflection, a surrogate, if i stayted a week, on say, a beautiful island, like Jamica, or bny the Jersy Shore. MEaning my “time off” is not being properly enjoyed and I have way too much time off creating depression. It’s why I pick up the sport of writing daily. 

So I want go fucking crazy. At least I have made a healthy contribution to my self. I already feel a certain spirtual growth. 

Now I all have to do is to shoot up a school and my writings would be shared nationwide. (sarcaism ) 

Elliot Rogers had a lot to say for a 23 year old. Some good wisdom and writing. Biggie and Tupac were both only 24 and 25. They can be labeled as “school shooters” too. I can’t belive how young they all are. 


Lifing weights always solves that problem. I feel better already. Strive towards greatness! 

...I want to fuck Joshie (josh) in the ass. Give me the date night, the condom, the night, I will cuddle him so hard and put it up there. I would try it anyway. I want to see him giggle and cry for me. 

Only problem is he would never leave me. Uggghhh. Isn’t it? 

Birds are chirping outside. I hear one already. I should lay back down. I have to to meet Shawn in the morning at 11 at Starbucks. 




Brett Stevens (typing in the dark)


I was reading Brett Stevens again. friend found out about him. He has a new book about Nihilishism coming out shortly. I read once in a while. 

(I don't have my glasses on. I can'y see the keuboard ot tyje letters I am punching in. It is a figgrtny erxperince. That way, I am writing based on feeling, not logic. I am like Wynham Lewis when he went blind... Should I learn dvorak or colemak when i am ay oy? Ot ,ight be better for the blind type writer. Right nowm, I am nlinf hitting on imaginary mallets. It's quite fun!) 

I kisy read a Syevens article titled "You are a orduct." Rhis really felt good. It is something i would write about, but Stevens said it in a better word choice. Syevens argues thar bloggers are not meaningful, but products ri a narjett. 

No noe has meaning anymore. Stevens suggest taht we should abandon the interent and start writing priviatley again. This is the only authentic voice we can gave. I really feel the Salinger and Talk Tlk in Syevens. This is something I want to do too. 

My goal is this. Take thr Freewrite writings of May, June July and AAgugust and compile a personal lulu book of my writings and call it “diary summer 2016." This would be the wright thing to do. O dont care about spelling and or grammer. That comnes later... wgen i find my glasses. Wrioting is raw withoiut editing. So i will countinue to do that. 

Hey. Maybe I should write more often with my glasses off. I need to discplinee myself not to look ay yhe keubaord or the screen itself. I
shoudl only know that i have written an paragraph and end a sentence. Maybe look straight ahead abd think about thing with i pun ch the kkeys. I want to speaks into an aydui recorded and then the audio is translated into text. Yes. I need to teach my ingers how to do that. Without stop or pause. Pausing kills writing. I need to be very unapolgetic. 

Stevens also argues taht the world needs more editors, not writers. We live in the information age and already have enough writers to begin with. It is a matter of getting the text and editing to make sense of it. 

A four year old could yell a silly and dumb tyale of "aze cop" only then that his older brother willl edit the story to make it sound like Shakespere. The world needs more ditors! 

Writing is mostly nonsense. The edited thoguht is what counts (kill the niggers kill the jews race war now gas the kikes 18/44) 

I feel for poor Lewis when he was blind. He had a clipboard and a penicl, would write the papers and they would fall on the floor. His wife would pick them up anf edit them later. Hlad this machine can justtype and send into a single file. 

So thats the goals. I will keep writing private thoughts until the end of August and when the job internship is over. 

I am still happy I got the job. Still regreting not going into today. Maybe it was the right choice to take 3 days off. Who knows? What If i am hypinv things up too much? 


Muslims Blow Up Shit


I was thinking about Athletic people this morning. 

And then the TV said 50 people died in the most horrfic terrosit attack the united states has ever seen. 

A Muslim walks in a shoots 100+ gay people. Really funny stuff. I was laughing when I first saw the headline. 

An instant win for Donald Trump. Yes! 

Now, the strange part is about a muslim killing gays. Could this mean that Twinks for Trump will become a thing? Will there be right-wing gays for the first time in forever? 

I waited with Dad for Baraq Obongo's speech t 1:30. He didn't show. So he came on at 2. Meanwhile, I was trying to make a drum and bass beat on the Roland TR-8 (808 kit too). 

Gorka, "Defating ISIS" journalist, said Obongo would not talk about the real issues and would only dodge. He was right. 

Obongo said something about their being too much guns, and victimization of gays. 

The death list came later. Turns out, the list is full of hedonist Puerto Ricans. Nope, no Freds from Scoody-Doo. THAT is your gay audeince! 

"Well, it JUST SO HAPPENS these "gays" are Puerto Ricans! Anything can be gay!" 

I think Chuck Pulhnick said it perfectly about his own career. "Journalist only care where I puted my dick in last." 

Soon after, National Socialist queers came on the TV. They waved militant flags of rainbow and their joyful queer (and white) advocates slammed their stump speech. I took a picture behind the queer, of a waving Israel flag! 

(((guess who is behind all this?))) 

This is going to be an intresting year. I hope another massacre happens soon. It's becoming meaningful. White society thought that Columbine was the worse thing that could ever happen to their post-modern, liberal society. And then one after another, thier system is getting worse and worse. 

If only this Omar kid was white! Yes. This would be such a meaningful day in histroy. Racist fascist are real! And they want to tear down our communist society! All the french postmodernist and Jewish frankforters were right! All this leads to the gates of Aushwitz! Oh vey! 

He wasn't. He never will be. Dylan Roof was expectation. He did it with at least a thought out manifesto. Something I could agree upon (meta fourth wall breaking trigger decontruction trigger warning!). 

What will this mean about this pathetic fraud of "gay idenity?" My uncle considers himself "gay," even though he married later. It's like, being gay is like taking pride in being plutonic, bourgeois, and passive-agressive. It's a materialsitic form of white nationalism. Sad really. I always knew the "gay idenity" thing was a fraud. No such thing. It's the bourgeois runnign amuck. "Gay idenity" didn't appear until the 1960's. And it was thought of being soooooo coool. When will Americans realize this is a defect in our own way of thinking? When will someone call out gays for faking it all? 

Life is a parodoy. Weatherman fake being "gay" to get the job. It's an easy way of somethign they are on the left. 

Yeah, thanks left! (lana) You really change American life in 50 years! You were all able to get into positions of power and somehow change science into philosphy and work into lesiure. As if, your life plan was to destroy nature and life live to it's fullest. 

I can't believe what Obongo said durning his speech. "They were only living their lives." 

"Lives?" Please. Puetro Rican hedonist preying upon the innocent? The possibly of whites too? Disgusting. 

No one wants to self improve anymore. The easy way out is decadent. 

It's not fun to be decadent anymore is because everyone is being decadent! I thought being "decadent" was going to a beach, fucking girls, and having hobbies. Not living life in lower class bumfuck Florida, picking up weak people, listing to shitty music, and having no future plans. "Decadent" to me sounds like only the billionaires could do it, not weak man. 

Weak man will never become like rich man. It's jsut is. 

Americans have been repressed of their nationalism. No one is allowed to be a nazi anymore. Nationalism is a healthy way of living life. All animals are nationalist. We were once nationalsit based on race. Now us white have to be nationalist for hobbies and usless things! 

I remember when it was LGBQ. Lesibian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, stick-up-the-ass kind. Now its LGBT. Transgender! When did they get in? I know for a fact some gays really hate Transgengers like thier favorite conservative white male. How are Transgender gay? It's egalatarism is too equal. 

Diversity and Multicultralsim causes tension and conflcit! -Jared Taylor. 

Rosie O'Donnel and Whoopi Goldberg will hate each other forever. "I am a lesibian! You can't say that!" "I am black! You can't say that either!" 

And "interectionalism" is suppose to cure this? It sounds like a monopolization of buisnesses. Just like how capitalism works! 

Did any of these morons read Gramsci, or Adorno, or Focult, or Derrida, or Lacan, or any European idiot? 

Sound too me these so-called "intellects" I just mentioned are rather bourgeois. They claim to be on the left, but they did it out of upper-class security. Just so they won't have any opponents. 

This is what runied the left. The left died. It thought it would be resurrected itself through culture. It did. Mission accomplish? No. No one wants to be called a true leftist. The left lost it's way in the forest. 

I am slowly crawling to a position what would be called an "alt-left" position. The alt-right it good, but the left cannot be forever defeated. It needs a re-insitutionalization. The left is apart of the right as the right is apart of the left. The left needs medical attention. I am writing something what would be called an alt-left declartaion or manifesto. I thought long and hard about the real benfits of the left. 

Imagine a left without jews, equality, theroy, philosphy, or liberals! Yes! It's a dream come true! It would be like Zen Buddahism for white people! 

In the middle of writing that... 

I should look out for the TR-606 epansion coming out next week. June 17th. Also should get those beach tickets. I really need the money. I sold Big O volumes 1 and 2 for $71. 

Also, should write about Atheletes as Barbarian-liberals. That thoght raced through my mind after Dragon Quest 8 on PS2 session. In the basement. No lights on too.

I had pickles, pinapples, and frozen chicken for lunch. 

No much more I can say. Dave is annoying. Please stop calling. I don't want to go see your crazy liberal dad or play CCGS with you. 

…going to flirt text with Sophie (asian). She understands. So close, but far away. 


Friday, November 4, 2016

The Alt-Right is Wrong.


There is something wrong with The Alternative Right and White Nationalism in 2016. 

I dedicated my senior project for the Alt-right, so I should at least care about where it is going in the next five years. 

I'm afraid to write this, but, The Alt-right is becoming the new cultural Marxism. 

It's hard to blieve this. It's true. 

The first right-wing metapolitic was American "Conservatism." Thats William F. Buckley Jr. and his National Review publication. Conservatism was the 1950s. It worked well for about ten years. About 40 years later, we get cultural Marxism, which would be an innate Marxist and left-wing morality. The reason why this is failing, is because CM, and political-correctness, is the system. Americans are tired of playing a game they don't want to be referees for. It is why The Alternative Right, something that is so opposite and radical (a deep breath of fresh air) will replace it. 

However, ideology is like the seasons. Oswald Spengler explained it seasons. Life is seperated in four quaters and seasons. We are learning during the spring, the summer we have fun, autamn we start society, and winter we reflect. Marxism is reaching the dead of winter. Marxism had it's bright start, it's communist society, it's run of academia, and now it's end. Marxism is grandpa on the front porch, watching cars go by. 

The Alternative Right is in the summer. It is sexually awakened looking for a lover. Soon, when it finds the lover, it will settle down. Even Preisdent Obama, at Rutgers University, said that Rutgers will not be stopped by PC mayhem. As if, every American knows CM is a noose around their neck. Obama want's something to be done. 

When The Alt-Right grows up, they will all have the responbilite to take of their children. The golden age, which is now, is a dance. 

I feel like I don't belong on the dance floor. 

Our rewards for being "Alt-Right" is acting normal. Normal? I never was "normal." An interest in Nazism is not normal. It's intellectual. 

Are early-twenty millinials that interested in nationalism? Or, is it like being a juggalo? A costume for your favoirte rock group. 


This is how the new left won. It stormed the universites until marxism became morality. The Alt-right is storming popular culture, until everyone is an apologetic white nationalist. 

The Alt-right is like a pop-up ad. Should we click on it and accept the offer? Isn't there a way to cancel the upper-right hand corner and exit out? 

Media is like this too. Some much innocent people falling into guilt. When was a choice ever authentic? 

The Alt-right plan is to prozeltise people. That's it. 

On The Stark Truth, Alex Von Goldstein argued that Pepe the frog was the Alt-right meme. Pepe is anti-establishement. Normies will try and like Pepe. But Pepe will become Donald Trump. Pepe is a vechical that corrupts normies. Everyone will be normal and racist at the same time. 

I liked the Alt-right because I had an interest in the political right. I
am fascianted with Mussolini's fascism and the movements it has spawned. Today, everyone is interested in facism because our system condemns it. Back in the 90's, no one could talk about the far-right. 

The first thing that will happen if the Alt-right wins the culture war, is that white women will be wooed over. Women are sign of victory. Men start the movement, women follow. 

I'm afraid I am going to meet a white girl my age who pretends to be on the Alt-rgiht and has intrested in Jared Taylor, Richard Spencer, and every Alt-right fad on Youtube. She is going to act pretencious and condemn those who disagree with her (the politically-correct, ironically). 

What makes this girl differnt from all the other white girls we have to face today? 

The Alt-right would woo over Third-wave Femnism into Alt-right Femnism. Nothing is accomplished. Just the culture has been won over. 

I liked the Alt-right because it sought to change the ethics of our soicety. To change ethics, according to the Alt-right now, is to replace the culture with theirs. 

I always wished for the big tit, blonde, dutch german girl serving me beer one night. You could talk to her about anything, and the only thing shes wants in the world is tto have kids and be a good mother. Perfect. 


Nope. The alt-right are a bunch of prentious college millinials who strive for "intellectual beuaty." The same mistakes that Percy Shelley, John Stuart Mill, and Marx made. A pathetic D-cup girl, that talks like a spinster library, and hates a majority of men but the men "who get her." 

I feel sorry for anyone who jerks off to that that every night before bed. This is why most white guys become gay. Not because "they were born that way," but because they hate white girls. 

I always wanted white Americans to become like the Chinese, the Japanese, and the Koreans. Not like them, no. No. I'm not talking about their anime either. If only we were an organic people that had a 90% white country, and catered politics and interest to ourselfs. Less violence. More security. high trust. 

The Alt-right dreams of this. But in return, they can't make this happen. So they dance in the post-modern shithole and agree with everything. The Alt- right wants tatoo sleeved girls and their hardcore punk. Pathetic. 

I always thought of myself as an Asian Studies student. Asian society has the best wisdom the West can learn from. We are lost in our own sin and constantly see the world through our own perverted lens. Asian studies helps clean the mind and realize their is a better world to live outside European consciouness. 

Nothing wrong with "european conmsciouness." But at this state of affairs, we need help from our brothers from the other side of the world. 

I am slowly drifting away from the alt-right because it is ironic and pretencious. Anyone can be apart of "the movement." Therefor, the real far- right movement has been dying all along. 

Slavjo Zizek was once an anti-communist. Then, he became a communist. Most say that this is a joke. That in reality, Zizek is not a communist, but is putting on joke. The only true communist is someone who pretends he is a communist. 

The Alt-right say they are "nazies" But really, there are no such thing as nazies anymroe and they would like to cahnge the conception of ta nazi by taking the name. 

But the poltical left and the right, are both dying. What is left, is remains of the utpoians systems, and both thoughts are fighting agiasnt each other. Ideology has forgoteen that it belongs to one people. 

White people made this. The left and right are the same thing. 

This is a petty conflict between what is just. At the moment, the left runs the insitution and the right is the underground. The left has failed because it has nothing to offer and the right has failed is because it mimics the left. This makes ense becuase, after all, the left made up the term the right and the right became aware of itself! 

I don't want to be apart of a pretenscious "youth" scene. Even the word "youth" as a toltarian twang to it. There is nothing natural about being ideological. "natural" as in ordinary. 

I am looking for religion and self-improvement. I don't want to be the black fish trying to eat the tail of the white fish. 

The alt-right is trying hard to become a normie party. The alt-right parties I have attended, everyone is at least scarred and damaged in a certain way. 

The Alt-right will fail once it becomes popular. 

Greg Johson wanted one thing with the Alt-right. "Everyone can do what they want, so as long white extinction is off the menu." I agree. However, "everyone can do what they want," as in, decadent culture? 

The 14/88 crowd is mad at the Alt-rgiht for good reasons. 

A healthy race is also a healthy society. Is it even possible for us, as a white race, to prompot the conservation of our race, and do all this crazy stuff we want too? 

The currents system is hurting a weaknees in us. Something is acting against us. Our own desires is working agianst us. We can't eat our cake and have
it too. 

I have lost hope in the Alt-right because it is decadent. We are have we there. We need to more innocent like than guilty. We can't act like the enemy to win him. 

white people can be themselfes without popular culture, ideology, or materalism. 

We need religion.