7-12-16
...Did I ditch COLEMAK? Not sure. Just walked Leroy around the farm for 30 mintues and tried to start my weight lifting habit again. I can feel a differnce. Ever since I went to work, my expectations rose, and feel down tragically. I used 3/4 weeks of my life to try this internship. It just w asn't for me.
And it was inhumane too. Oh well. That's why there is protest against phone company
Yesterday, I was trying to watch Star vs. The Forces of Evil marathon. DRAKE for the first time opened up the Magic cards I bought him for Christma s. I played too. The most balance Magic I ever played. I tried to watch S tar, but drake was ridiculing me yet again. I cried in my room later. I g ot to watch a few episodes. The problem was that the TV was switched on S panish. Retarded Grandma. She has depression. I can feel it. Also, low IQ . "Dementia" dosen't count.
Slowly but surely, finally, my post tramtic stress disorder of late 2015 t o early 2016 isa going away. I have to unapolgetic and keep with my own g oals. It was unjust I went there. Just like the bad internship. I should l eave when I want. ...to stay at a hostile campus. Not sure why. I am devoted to get that degree. I don't care a nymore. Lie-cheat-steal-kill-rape for it.
I bought a midi controller today with $160 of the Magic money. I have 1005 dollars left. Amazing. Three packs of Arabian Nights and a pack of Antiq ues. I am lucky. That would of been my internship paycheck by the way.
I am thinking about buying Reason 9 for $400. And then $150 more for the a dd-ons (Tb-303, 909/808). The 808 is not that good. It's ok. Not sure if I want to go $40 on that.
Yes. I want to write that My Life As A Teenage robot and Star Vs. The For ces of Evil comparison soon. I have to watch more episodes of Star. I fee l like I am 15 again. 9 years ago. MLAATR has ressurrected and it hauntin g me again. This time, Star is.
(plugged the Freewrite into the wall, move it over to this white drawer, trying to sit and write this time. Batterty low. Charging).
I have to clean out my room again. I have to move the sceince-fiction boo ks into the book cubbies. I have to get rid of the wooden thing right next
to me. I put away both TB-s and the the TR-8. I don't need them now. Mak ing music in Reason is more powerful. I bleive it. Also, might need USB v ocal mic. I want to sing again.
I have the money. Just, what to SPEND it on? Spend anyway? Or should I sa ve it? I need a an account, where I save the money, and cannot use it for
anything else.
...A savings account? Maybe. I already have one with more than $100,000 i n there. I am living the good life without spending any of it. Only using
it for College. If I got the money, the university wants me. $$$. I will try Princeton. Once. And only for a class. Haha.
I finally found Japanese Youtube clips of the real Mineo Maya in the fles h. Interviews and radio talk. Japanese only. I wish i was Donald Keene, or Edward Sidensicker, or Jack Seward, or... Jared Taylor. My Japanese is ok though.
Jared Taylor. Is that why I am like that today? I don't know.
Listening to Amren radio now. Adrian Davis and Jared Taylor. Too bad I co uldn't see Davis in New York. Oh well. One day.
What have I done this summer? Wrote and made music. King Trode and my soon to be Lulu book. Oh well. Summer 2016.
Habits is the key to learning. The key to diuscpline. And the creating of GOOD art.
L+_Special = Bright screen on/off.
Saves battery? It does. Hold on... Bathroom.
Thoughts about Paper Mario. Koopa in nice hammick house, listening to electronic hawiian music...
Thoughts about Paper Mario. Koopa in nice hammick house, listening to elec tronic Hawaiian music, all day long. Laying there, The good life...
Back. Shit and shaved my (((unibrow))).
All I need is to shave up my hairy body and lifht weights. I become more confident in myself. I just don't want to be fat. I need to take care of my body more often.
...the thoughts of college life come back to me. The feeling of dread. The fe eling of 10 months before. That in my life. How can I go on? I can. Is it curcial to my personal physcology? Or do I have to improve my st renght? I can't act like a "young" person anymore. I must be strong. Tough . I can overcome. I just don't know hoe to overcome irrational bad thought s daily. Is this normal? Or is it not? I think it might be natural for an y human being to have these daily thoughts of dread. Dread. How to deal w ith it? Most people cannot and probabley think it's unnatural. They try to purge it. Call it, a "triger warning." The millinial genreation is very intresting. I think this is apart of growing up. The bourgeois classes don ;t know how to grow up. Writing, this Freewrite, is my cure. My personal growth is writing daily. I want to coninue that.
Hopefully I will be able to go to sleep tonight. Last night, I took a Mil atonin, knocked out at 11, woke back at 3, pissed, and listened to Charles Krafft until 6:30. Another Attack.
I am strong. I worry about this upcoming, last semester. I am strong.
Lift more weights. Find girls. Find a job. Make an income. Find a place. That sounds like a plan. I am getting tired of Alice sadly. She's ok. Not sure If I can live my life with her.
Yet, I keep coming back to her. I found her. I am proud of that. Maybe it can work out. Maybe. Not sure.
I want to protest ot the US. Goverment that like Elliot Roger, I have never had sex! it with a pick-it sign in front of the white house. Don't blame them, blam my own actions. Make them feel sympathetic.
And then they will reward me with pretty girls to have sex with it. R.I.P. Elliot Rogers.
Diseased people write about diesaed things. Sex, Race, cruel hobbies. Vio lence. Violence!
What will I do tommorrow? Unsure. Happy Birthday Dad and Carl Schmiit!
Shady Dog Records, Feeds Alices Fishes, Sam Ash Again for econd Midi Contr oller, Comic book day. Lift wegihts, write again, make music. CLEAN MY ROOM. I have to put my mind to these things!
Tried to hang with Dicklick and Jacob Danaker tonight. They are too lazy eating shit and playing shitty video games. Great. So glad I don't do those things. I want to be a healthy Aryan.
oh, maybe go to ocean city again this week? I yhink Hagey is offering the ride. I have to check.
Too hurty to write on write drawer things. Need this on table. I will let the battery charge for now...
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