7-31-16
Ok, so, this happend yesterday actully. I did some things today... Got in naked in fron of Sarah and jerked off... finally. Went to Saladworks, walked to Wawa. got ticks on me. But onto yesterday...
I was in the car with Kevin to go and pick up stuff from his house and transfer it back to family house. It was his last day to move out and back into the house. Kevin obnoxusly put on "Recondite - Acid" album. Hipster post-modern and ironic "Acid house," TB-303 and everything. Now, I wish for one moment I would just sit in the front of the car, and everything is nice and dedicated. But what happens with Kevin, when he is stressed, he lingers onto topics he wants to talk about... by speaking his mind of course. And he speaks about music equipment, and how he's going to make it, and things he never really does and says. So... to make things more intresting, I decided vto say, "I think the bassliner he is using in this track is a Roland TB-3 actully." "NO IT'S NOT... HOW? I DISAGREE. YOUR WRONG. END THE CONVERSATION." Why is he so hostile like this? I want to only say the thought I say... not his. Why he is so hostile? When he speaks that tone, I have to discpline him like a middle-school teacher to a student. "And hears whyy..." Very quickly and nonc harsh. Unapolgetically. But everything he takes in his an offense to his own nature. He's a big baby. Everyone I know speaks in a nice tone and acknowledges every thought. Not Kevin. He's no differnt than a social justice warrior. A problem with today's society. But anyway, that runined my day. I could not think about anything else but that one little incident that ruined my day. "What if he is right and it is an actual TB-303? What if I am wrong? I know I am right. Why can't he acknoweldge my wisdom?" I could not move around things, as Kevin was yelling at me more. "This is the only way I can speak to you if your actully going to do something and do the job!" Pathetic he is. (He's making stranger John Carpender music in the other room right now). Yesterdazy was also raining, and the mood was dooming. I tried to seperate, but he wanted to be near me. He kind of said he was sorry, but not really. He's not that bright. (Virginina Woolf said if a women wants to be a writer, she will need two things: a room of her own, money to spend, and a type writer). At the end of the day, I decided to look up if this claim was true that he has a real TB-303. Well, it's implied he might have a real TB-303, but, he uses more often Abelton and Acid Bassline by Audiorealism than anything else. Hence, me and kevin were both wrong. Digital yes. I was close to being right. Kevin on the other hand, wrong. The incident offened me because Kevin became the suppose expert on Bassliners and I was left to dust about my own knoweldge. He dosen't even have experince on bassliners goddamit. I was the one with a Future Retro Revoultuion and Rebirth RB0338. He only cares about making gay, obnnxious, white hipster music more than anything else. He dosen't even know music theroy! He knows how to press buttons and makes "sounds." so pretensious and immature. Like a baby that needs his paciifer. Sometimes, I wish this infulenced would not my harm in interest in music. In some respect, Kevin taught me how to like music, but still, I DONT want to like music. I feel that that learning music is forced upon me as a brother or family thing and really, I don't like it at all. I use to make it, because I am force to. This is good, since music becomes work rather than leisure. I love that. I can make profit off music than love it. However, I still want my privacy when it comes to listening and creating music. It should come natural like all musician have experinced in the past. I however, I have no control over the situation and must be at someone else will (Kevin, Mom, Dad) . This creates a wrothless and sucidial life (that has mostly been the answers in situations like these). The answer is to moe out of the house.... when i get my degree and get an income. School and family has nothing more been a dsitraction from becoming who I really am. I am a worthless slave.
Today, I woke up at 9, drove to Sarah's house. I didn't bring a frisbess. So no frisbee time. We decided to go to Saladworks for lunch. Amazing. Best salaf I ever had. Sugarery and Salty and fastfood like. Too bad it's not like Subway. The headquaters is in Conshocken. Maybe I should work or them. We waled around a bit. and headed back home. Sarah played Sims game and I watched her make a house. I told her I was horny. I finally got to show her my penis! She wacked it a couple of times, punched it. It hurted a bit.. I said I need to masturbate. I got naked in fron of her I jerked my dick of while standing in her bathroom. She watched me like a nurse waiting for a sperm sample. I had to do it in the bathtub, not shooting at the wall. I said I can ejaculate in 3 minutes. Than it turned six. I guess I am shy. She left the room. I ejaculated after that. I thanked her to let me do it in front of her a bit... Next time, she has to watch me cum, or cum on her leg. After, we took a walk in the park and up to wawa. She got Peach Sprite and Honeymustard Synber pretzel bits. Walked back to her house. After helping her house, I relaized I had two ticks on me. I flushed them down the toilet. She said "Fuck you." For not cleaning up the ticks. I left 10 minutes later. Had some long kisses, had fun. 6 hours at Sarah's house. Other intresting dialoug too we talked about. Such like the Hapa reddit and stuff Euraasin people like, The cosomplotian survey on how interrcial, wealthy liberal couples, are racist in bed. Do white people rule the world? When does nationalism occur? Are college degrees worhtless? Why get one in English when the esoteric infomration you learned is only applied to esoteric, enncrtic, upper-classs delusional liberals? How divided is the working-class and elite class? Intresting stuff. I am thinking she will make a good wife one day... maybe.
I have to buy either a joystick for KOF 14 or more Reason rack extensions soon. I should maybe sell the Roland TR-8 as well. Buy Yokai Watch TCG tommorrow at Wal-mart. Go to dentsit at 4:30.
Am I self confirming my thoughts and philosphy when I hear aa noise I want it be?
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