Thursday, January 12, 2017

asian fetish in white nationalism? is it called that?

Cleo is having a purr attack on my lap. Can't... get... her off. 

Sonic Mania is 2017 remake of sonic 3 or 2 or idk even more. Is it even Japanese? No. 

Sold Game of Thrones cards and second TB-3. $200. I got mono m-audio speak er. Works well. 

Got back from Hooters with Kevin and Sam. Had wings. I prefer boneless. Bought $350 new glasses and new yellow luck prosperity cat from mall. 

Went to vet with Mom and leroy. Leroy has atmoplasmosis. Worms. Not tapeworms. He got them from tiks. 

The ps4 controller that puppy ate is working again. Kevin magically put i t back together again. It's fine. No $60 waste. Happy. 

I should check my college email to see if Ms. Jaker sent an indenpendt study with me. 

Hold on... 

Nope, nothing stil. 

DNC convention on tonight, should watch. 

Alice got me gifts from Europe. I will see her tommorrow. 

Lights went out in Hooters. Pretty funny. Waitress was a dumb, big glasses dark lipstick "tumblr" girl. Zeitgeist not of. 

Gonna play Doom 4.... 



Watching old school Netrunner videos. Watching Android:Netrunner players play Original Netrunner. They are all somewhat confused. They are unsure what card to play and what means what. Also, thos small minor rules that a differnt (link, agenda points, bad pub). 

I think Netrunner is growing smaller. When ever I think about games, I ha ve to talk aboput math as well. Math is intresting once it is used in a c ertain way. I use it for games. I like to think about space and time. 

Right now, there are... let me check... 

An average between 700-800 cards (100 more from Mumbad). 700 cards seems t o be my sweet spot. When the game reaches the first pack of the 8th cycle , 240 cards, from the first two cycles, gets deleted (banned). This is ca lled rotation. When An:Net reaches 1000 something cards, and the 8th pack is released, 240 is subtracted, and it is down back to an avearge of 750 cards. Intresting. FFG says "Rotation only happens when games reach maturi ty." Netrunner has found it's maturity. The sweet spot is at least 800 car ds. 800 cards means maturity, 1050 cards means excess. FFG only has to go now is get consumers into the game when the game is already mature. That is a hard thing to do. Is it possible? Will a game "grow" with its audein ce overtime if the card base always remains 800 but no greater than 1000? 

This is strange. FFG can introduce formats to make use of old cards. Maybe. Cards don't even have resell vaule. Doomtown, Conquest, Thrones, impossible to sell collections online. Make little money as possible. Maybe Netrunner will have worth. Not sure. It's like paper with colored pictures on it from China. Now, Original Netrunner had a card pool of about 600 cards . Good. That is another sweetspot number. Some games, like Magic, can real ly only have a card pool about 300 cards. I like that too. So, somewhere between 300, 600, and 800 is the sweetspot of any CCG. Recently, Doomtown Reloaded has been canceled. DTR had a card pool of about 600 cards. That's good too. 19 products ins existence with Doomtown labels (12 smaller ones , 5 expansions, 1 big box). 18, almost 20. It makes me think about my own product I would make as a CCG. 

For example, an expansion with 160 cards, 4 copies of 40 original cards. No need to buy extra cards. Three expansions a year every 3 and a half mo...

No need to buy extra cards. Three expansions a year every 3 and a half months. 120 cards a year? Do this for about 4 years and thats a CCG life ti me. 12 expansions and core set, 13 products. 480 + Core set cards of maybe 120... 600 cards! That's a sweet spot. Oddly enough, Doomtown has only be en existence for two years. August 2014 to October 2016. That is such a sm 

all time. I remembered every second of the game. - 





Asian “Fetish" in White Nayionalism. Is it real? 

Jared Taylor, John Derbershire, Robert Weissberg, Buckley guy that denies 9/11, maybe even Andrew Anglin. 

Then, there are these terms: White Nationalist, White Advocate, Alt-righer, and Identetarian. WN being the most crudest and Identarian being a pseudo-academic kind. 

The Hapa reddit is intresting. The blog Stuff Eurasian People like. This must be looked more into. White Male and Asian Female, WMAF, is no good accordingly. 

I don't have my glasses on and I am typing this in bed with bending over. Taking a short break... Fingers hurt when I type on the edges of the key 

s and not get the center. Must learn to touch type... ---



I thought about how I can think. How ideas come to me right away and how I have the Freewrite and Reason (music) to write it down. It seems like th e center of creativity is capturing thoughts that second and getting it on 

to campus. Art, Writing, and Music work this way. Even if it is "improvis ion," the final result transform pass the medicore style of a draft or dem o. Once it's down, there is no reason to put it down again. Creativity is 

a result of taking down the infinite thoughts in the mind. Whatever is th ese thoughts are good or bad. The first technigque to do this well is Viri gina Woolf's "Stream-of-consciousness" style. Every occuring thought in th e mind must be written down. She stood while she wrote. Making writing as if it was an energize and improvise art. A writer cannot "wordsmith" that is, edit and write, while writing. This lacks in everything. Wordsmiths a re scientist and forget about the natural flow how art is written. There is not special, unique, or even talent, that comes when getting art down. There is differnt styles for everyone. Some advice and wisdom is good. No 

There is differnt styles for everyone. Some advice and wisdom is good. Not all of it. Picasso once said, "Bad artist imitate, great artist steal!" 

I believe that reading works the same way as creating art as well. Recent ly at Impact thirft, I bought a few books for $4.95. The Bell Curve, Dolp hin Diaries, Shadowrun pulp, and The Wonderful Flight To The Mushroom Plan et. These genres and audeinces clash with each other. An adult cannot swit ch between reading the Bell curve to Dolphin Diaries. But... I can. I see 

the text as inspiration. Strange. I think most people might see this way in a age of illiteracy. Some text can work with me, and some I love to co nsumer. Consume! That is what reading is, right? Consuming? How can a arti st create if he only consumes? Consumes other people's art? Some intellect s spend their life consuming than of creating. Copying and pasting selecti ng passages and arguing agiasnt others through lanaguage... throuigh consum ing (disguise as reading). Can I really learn through text that can make m e consume? I am not so sure. I don't think so. A consumer just becomes mor e of an exploited object and less of a human. Therefor, it's hard to real ly to learn wisdom, advice, and words from certain text. It's why the int ernet remains much more of a liberation than physical books will have. Boo ks are only loved now by the Babny boomers and Gen-Xers. I collect books t o read about the past and make esoteric arguments about those which is not 

understood. Books have an underground appeal. Some exist wihtout purpose and need to be "read." Not consumed. There is wisdom, advice, words, and c oncepts in the most underground pulp. If the text cannot be read however, just throw it away. Most of academics is equivlant to Car Salesman anyway . Lowlife chumps. 

If enough pulp text is read, I can create art with it. Like bullets in a gun that can shoot. Words and the text create ideas and thoughts in the he ad. Like butterflies, they need to be caught. 

The discplene of capturing thoughts is the most hardest and requires discp line, not talent. The same goes for lifting weights. One does not grow mu scles without discplene of lifting weights. This task is hard and painful . Evne to call it, evil. It's why most people ignore the weights, the typ ewrite, the white canvas, the empty DAW program, the covered in the dust instrument that has lost it's purpose. Creating art turns to consumption, l ike that of reading. Reading and creation has became consuption. An artist 

does not consume. Bobybuilders do not eat McDonalds everyday. The artist must aesthically and improve oneself in power. A human being has an oppurt unity to do so. Most humans are born into a class system and live off that life. This is a tragedgy. An existenital crisis. Tiffinay Trump and Chelsea Clinto are living the greatest life ever lived. did they earned that life? no. They were born into it. (T.T and C.C.. funny) I cannot compare and contrast myself with TT and CC because I have not lived their lifes. They have cheated. Cheaters are always winners. In the primal world, to s uccessd, one must life-cheat-kill-steal-rape. This is unorhtodx to Christi an religion. But the ethtics of LIECHEATSTELAKILLRAPE )LCSKR are the tactics. I live in the bourgeois world. Outside of it, it shte Primal world. T he world of animals, jungles, and instinct. The natural way of living hum an beings have deinied through the ages of progression and technology and advance langauge. We are caught up everyday in the jail ssystem that is t he bourgeois world. I could some much greater potentnial, but I trapt in a 

mind trap. A society wihout purpose. I feel I am playing Morrowwind, and 

I am ultimaTLEY RESTING in a hut and refuse to go out and kill monsters, because I only have one life before its game over. No more. I have lost t he urge to become powerful, to go on an advneture. Like a mouse in a Skinner box, I have learned to press a red button everyday and eat free cheese . I feel people have better Skinner boxes too. 

...took a dump. Writing on the Freeewrite is like sitting down and playin g Doom 4 for towo hours. Writing it self is like a video game. 

Instead of consuming and buying unessisarty things to IMPROVE my creation , I need to work on the discplene of isntantly cpautring my thoughts na ge tting down on canvas IN LESS THAN 10 MUNITES. Afterwords, I coutnie the ar tistic process once it is written down. I feel right now I have got the th ought that I have saw in my head and now I have no aniexty or confusion t hat I got the thought down on canvas. The freewrite is a device that will encode every possible voice in my mind. This is the center and creation 

of art. When I had that vocal line in my head "Vacume Claner... 1 2 3 Van cume Cleanrer... 4 5 6..." I knew I want to also sing it in a Biutspeak p rogram of Phonetetic Prgoram. I must record that in reason once I get a ch ance. It haunts my mind like a melody I can't get rid of... a song that d osent exist... but will come into existence once I write it down. Also, I have thoughts about bandcamp and reuploading all the songs I wrote when I was 15-18. That would be nice. It's on that old laptop in my closet. I m ust use a usb stick and transfer the miles on to my macbook. Already, thos e thoughts are going a mile a minute and if i forget, they will not be do 

e thoughts are going a mile a minute and if i forget, they will not be do ne. It's on my "to-do" list. Also going to try and find that song I wrote onthe Future Retro Revoultion on the laptop too... if its there. I remebe r I brought that thing into school, haha. i was 19. Now that thought of ge tting the files of f the laptop becomes my duty of today. Summer days, is 

uncertain every day after. I don't have aplan. I wish to be uncertain al l the time. I find this enjoyable. However, the things I really want to d o, like find a girlfriend and get the files off the coputer, I am scarred . I am scared to experince a new feeling from this. I need guidenece and help. Unfrotuantley, I am not CC and TT. 

Well, I am getting hungry. I didn't have breakfast yet. Walked Lucy aroun d the farm for a bit. Got back and wrote this. My instinct guides me. I ne ed food. 


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